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-Album: The Baby is June
-Artist: Funk McLovin
-Date: November 23, 2020
-Date Added: April 12, 2021
-Cover Art: Funk McLovin
-Has Track Art: no
-Color: #00c0ff
-Groups:
-- Funk McLovin
-- Fandom
-URLs:
-- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/album/the-baby-is-june
-- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVNREaFFhdM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Track: Meat Nor Candy
-Duration: 0:37
-Contributors:
-- Funk McLovin (Dave)
-- AE (June)
-- Bucky Grant (Karkat)
-URLs:
-- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/meat-nor-candy
-Lyrics:
-    DAVE: so june
-    DAVE: did you pick meat or candy
-    JUNE: dave??
-    JUNE: how did you know i was at a picnic?
-    DAVE: everyone knows
-    DAVE: its a super important choice with important ramifications
-    JUNE: what? oh man, this might be bad.
-    KARKAT: OH SWEET FUCK. WHAT DID YOU DO, JUNE.
-    DAVE: did you even go to the fucking picnic
-    JUNE: n- no? i... i...
-    DAVE: urgh
-    DAVE: fuck
-    DAVE: ugh
-    JUNE: dave, what's going on!
-    KARKAT: THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO, JUNE.
-    DAVE: i can only explain whats happening to me
-    DAVE: ngh
-    DAVE: in <i>song</i>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Track: Dave's Ballad
-Duration: 1:54
-Contributors:
-- Funk McLovin (Dave)
-- AE (June)
-- Bucky Grant (Karkat)
-URLs:
-- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/daves-ballad-2
-Lyrics:
-    I was walkin' down the street practicing some rhymes
-    Just like you do when you're the knight of time
-    When a realization struck me clear out the blue
-    In through the outdoor I pulled the wazoo
-
-    I saw the time foam in a paradox space
-    And faster than the bunny won the tortoise race
-    I knew you had to make a lun-choice
-    You had to utter two words with your very own voice
-
-    And June if you didn't then there's just one catch
-    If you didn't select one of Calliope's snacks
-    One final timeline that I know to be true
-    I'm having a baby and the baby is you
-
-    JUNE: but dave...
-    JUNE: the tortoise won the race.
-    KARKAT: IT DOESN'T MATTER RIGHT NOW, JUNE.
-    KARKAT: FOCUS ON THE BABY PART.
-
-    Well I'm having a baby and the baby is you
-    I'm having a baby and the baby is you
-    I'm having a baby and the baby is you
-    I know this to be true
-
-    I'm having a baby and the baby is you
-    I'm having a baby and the baby is you
-    I'm having a baby and the baby is you
-    You better buy some tiny shoes
-
-    JUNE: how the hell does this even work??
-    DAVE: oh well im glad you asked
-
-    You'll remember in a time in a game called SBURB
-    When "ectobiologize" was the key verb
-    You made a bunch of shitty little baby clones
-    And sent them to the appropriate time zones
-
-    But along the way the wires got crossed
-    And out into the first ring baby June was tossed
-    You could see how this could be
-    A little problem metaphysically
-
-    Because if you're marooned in the depths of space
-    You couldn't make the baby clone of yourself in the first place
-    And now to complete the right time loop
-    I've been impregnated and the baby is you
-
-    Well I'm having a baby and the baby is you
-    I'm having a baby and the baby is you
-    I'm having a baby and the baby is you
-    I know this to be true (oooh!)
-
-    I'm having a baby and the baby is you (...)
-    I'm having a baby and the baby is you
-    I'm having a baby and the baby is you
-    You better buy some tiny shoes
-
-    JUNE: dave, what the fuck.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Track: Karkat's Lament
-Duration: 2:44
-Contributors:
-- Bucky Grant (Karkat)
-URLs:
-- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/karkats-lament
-Lyrics:
-    I'm just a troll, a troll so enamored
-    With a man who speaks with that annoying stammer
-    In spite of his yammering and habits thereof
-    I wish there was a way to express my love
-
-    I've not been one for shows of affection
-    They're always taken in some awful direction
-    And uh, since I'm a troll and he's a human
-    Well I've got no template for wooing acumen
-
-    Now that I'm comfy with the time that I spend
-    Happy to be with him until the bitter end
-    Paradox space so cruelly descends
-    He's having a baby and the baby's my friend
-
-    Oh I'm just a troll, a troll so enamored
-    WIth a man who has- pff- zero manners
-    And just when I was poised to get used to him
-    Reality reminded me it's just too grim
-
-    But wishing my heart with a fatal twist
-    That I could love him in domestic bliss
-    But what I wanted wasn't goddamn this
-    Things weren't supposed to go amiss
-
-    But when you imagine a dispute of the heart
-    Something to drive two lovers apart
-    In the books that I read when I was a grub
-    There were strpies like passion and conflict and love
-
-    But in those tomes over which I pored
-    Reading about the quadrants that I adored
-    It wasn't a whisper or even a maybe
-    Of your boyfriend having his best friend's baby
-
-    [Pensive trumpet solo.]
-
-    I'm just a troll, a troll so enamored
-    Of a boy I can't help but chase after
-    Gestating my buddy in his gravid womb
-    I can't let this be Davekat's doom
-
-    I'm just a troll, a troll so enamored
-    With a man who speaks with that annoying stammer
-    In spite of his yammering and habits thereof
-    I wish there was a way to express my love
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Track: June's Ode
-Duration: 2:44
-Contributors:
-- AE (June)
-- Funk McLovin (Dave)
-URLs:
-- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/junes-ode
-Lyrics:
-    DAVE: alright youll be able to see the ultrasound image on the monitor
-    DAVE: the miracle of life is wonderful dont you agree june
-    DAVE: uh
-    DAVE: june
-
-    That baby is me
-    It's plain to see
-    From the ultrasound image
-    And my friend's stomach
-    Looking so carefree
-
-    I've been through a lot
-    I've seen some shit
-    But this takes the cake
-    This one is it
-
-    I can't carry on
-    I can't wrap my brain
-    His stomach's distended a baby
-    With my own face
-
-    It's got my buckteeth
-    And my mischevious grin
-    Even more upsetting
-    I see my glasses on them
-
-    I try to shout
-    I try to scream
-    But I can't comprehend
-    The baby is me
-
-    My buddy Dave is pregnant
-    With a baby who is me
-    Seems surreal
-    What's the deal
-    He's swimming in Dave's pee
-
-    DAVE: its not pee june its amniotic fluid
-    DAVE: theres a big difference
-
-    (Hey while you guys are singing, do mind if I take a trumpet solo?)
-    (Sure thing doc, go right ahead.)
-
-    [Prenatal trumpet solo.]
-
-    A child in my bro
-    A wholeass baby kid
-    Not even the result
-    Of something I did
-
-    Dave is taking this well
-    What the fuck is his deal
-    I've been losing my mind
-    Is this how the virgin Mary feels
-
-    Look at their weird face
-    On the ultrasound screen
-    They're looking at me
-    God what could this mean
-
-    How can Dave sit there
-    With zero qualms
-    Is he a good dad
-    Am I a good mom
-
-    My buddy Dave is pregnant
-    With a baby who is me
-    Seems surreal
-    What's the deal
-    He's swimming in Dave's pee
-
-    DAVE: for the last time its not pee
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Track: Off Brand
-Duration: 3:58
-Contributors:
-- AE (June)
-- Bucky Grant (Karkat)
-- Funk McLovin (Dave)
-URLs:
-- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/off-brand
-Lyrics:
-    JUNE: i hope dave is okay.
-    JUNE: what do you think will happen if something goes wrong?
-    JUNE: what if i evaporate, like in back to the future?
-    KARKAT: IT'LL BE FINE, JUNE.
-    JUNE: but i've been hearing trumpet playing from the delivery room this whole time.
-    KARKAT: NO DON'T WORRY, THAT'S JUST THE DOCTOR FROM TRACK FOUR.
-    JUNE: oh, right.
-
-    I know it's off brand
-    But I wouldn't worry
-    Dave's a strong sort of guy
-
-    He's a good dad
-    So we'd better hurry
-    And pull ourselves together, here's why
-
-    Through these nine months
-    I've hemmed and I've hawed
-    But here's the conclusion I came to
-
-    It's surreal and unfun
-    But I've been so in awe
-    You me and Dave too
-
-    I know it's our friend
-    But I sort of agree
-    Dave's taken this just like a champ
-
-    It's not the most grand
-    That the baby is me
-    But we really oughta be in Dave's camp
-
-    Through these nine months
-    I've been so horrified
-    About the implications metaphysic
-
-    But through these nine months
-    Not one single time
-    Have I told Dave he's terrific
-
-    I know it's not grand
-    But the trio of us
-    Two dads and one paradox daughter
-
-    Can be hand in hand
-    One family of us
-    Come temporal hell or high water
-
-    DAVE: well folks great news
-    JUNE: oh, dave! thank god.
-    KARKAT: DAVE, LOOK AT HER.
-    KARKAT: IT'S A LITTLE JUNE.
-    JUNE: i'm still not entirely sure how it was born with my glasses on...
-    DAVE: i have some bad news
-    KARKAT: WHAT IS IT?
-    JUNE: what do you mean?
-    DAVE: to preserve the time loop this baby has to go back in time and live your childhood june
-    DAVE: we cant keep it
-    KARKAT: ...I GUESS THIS IS OUR ONE CHANCE TO SAY GOODBYE.
-
-    I know it's off brand
-    But I'm teary-eyed
-    I love this little dude most
-
-    Karkat my man
-    And June buddy of mine
-    Now I know why we're so close
-
-    When we were kids
-    Playing SBURB
-    I knew that we all were connected
-
-    Through all this amidst
-    Our trials absurd
-    It's not quite the way we expected
-
-    I know it's off brand
-    But the trio of us
-    Two dads and one paradox daughter
-
-    Can be hand in hand
-    One family of us
-    Come temporal hell or high water
-
-    DAVE: well
-    DAVE: that was weird
-    DAVE: i gotta admit im kinda sad that i didnt get to raise a little june
-    JUNE: i'm not...
-    KARKAT: WELL, AT LEAST WE LEARNED A VALUABLE LESSON FROM THIS.
-    DAVE: we did
-    KARKAT: SURE.
-    JUNE: what was it?
-    KARKAT: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW.
-    KARKAT: BUT I'M SURE SOMEDAY IT WILL COME IN HANDY.
-    KARKAT: LIKE SOME OBSCURE TRIAL WILL HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE AND WE'LL BE ABLE TO DRAW ON OUR COLLECTIVE KNOWLEDGE OF THE MECHANICS OF PARADOX IMPREGNATION.
-    JUNE: it's kind of like jesus, huh?
-    JUNE: a virgin birth.
-    DAVE: definitely not a virgin
-    KARKT: WHAT'S A VIRGIN?
-    JUNE: man, i wonder what would have happened if i'd chosen meat or candy.
-    DAVE: good question june buddy
-    DAVE: i guess the world will just never know
-    [Laughter.]
-    JUNE: probably for the best.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Track: Dave's Ballad Reprise
-Duration: 1:49
-Contributors:
-- Funk McLovin (Dave)
-- articulatelyComposed (Rose)
-URLs:
-- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/daves-ballad-reprise
-Lyrics:
-    DAVE: so yeah basically uh
-    DAVE: i got pregnant with a paradox clone of june
-    DAVE: and that was my weekend
-    DAVE: what about you
-    ROSE: Wait, what.
-    ROSE: Explain.
-    DAVE: alright so
-    DAVE: june was supposed to make a selection between meat and candy at a picnic
-    DAVE: right
-    ROSE: Yes.
-    ROSE: Yeah, that was my idea.
-    DAVE: but she didnt do that
-    DAVE: so like you might have imagined-
-    ROSE: So you gave birth to her.
-    DAVE: yeah yeah
-    DAVE: no thats
-    DAVE: thats basically the whole and the half of it
-    ROSE: ...Why do I feel like this has happened before?
-    DAVE: you know i felt that too
-    DAVE: it was like through the whole thing
-    DAVE: it was like this feeling of deja vu
-    DAVE: i dont even know if i have a womb anymore
-    ROSE: I mean, paradox space can do strange things.
-    DAVE: yeah
-    DAVE: well i guess its good that yknow
-    DAVE: she didnt choose meat or candy
-    DAVE: who knows how that would have gone
-    ROSE: Oh, god.
-    DAVE: yeah who knows
-    ROSE: Now that I think about it, that was a terrible choice.
-    ROSE: I don't know why I even thought it would be... decent.
-    DAVE: yeah thats ok
-    DAVE: you cant see the fu- well
-    DAVE: you cant see the future i guess
-    DAVE: i kinda made a musical angle of it
-    DAVE: so like
-    DAVE: uh
-    DAVE: you wanna
-    DAVE: do you wanna
-    DAVE: you wanna do something with that
-    DAVE: we could probably syndicate this and sell it to someone
-    ROSE: Honestly? Sure, why not.
-    DAVE: alright lets do it
-    ROSE: Why not make a couple bucks aft our wacky adventures.
-    DAVE: yeah
-    DAVE: lets do this
-    DAVE: i had a whole baby i might as well gat a couple dollars out of it
-
-    You (I) had a baby and the baby was June
-    You (I) had a baby and the baby was June
-    You (I) had a baby and the baby was June
-    It's absurd to be true (ooooh)
-
-    Dave (I) had a baby and the baby was June
-    He (I) had a baby and the baby was June
-    Dave (I) had the baby and the baby was June
-    And that fixed the paradox loop (ooooh)
-
-    ROSE: Actually, on second thought, making a musical out of this seems like a bad idea.
-    DAVE: yeah its kind of tacky