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<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<title>CHAPTER 3. How Are Your Feelings (Preceding Canon)</title>
<meta charset="utf-8">
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<span><a href="index.html">Index</a></span>
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<time datetime="2020-01-17">01/17/2020</time>
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<article>
<h1>CHAPTER 3. How Are Your Feelings</h1>
<img class="panel" width="650" height="1089" src="https://cdn.beyondcanon.com/assets/story/homestuck-beyond-canon/panels/96.gif">
<img class="panel" width="650" height="450" src="https://cdn.beyondcanon.com/assets/story/homestuck-beyond-canon/panels/97.gif">
<img class="panel" width="650" height="450" src="https://cdn.beyondcanon.com/assets/story/homestuck-beyond-canon/panels/98.gif">
<div class="command alt-callie">
<span>???</span>
<div>> i enter.</div>
</div>
<img class="panel" width="650" height="450" src="https://cdn.beyondcanon.com/assets/story/homestuck-beyond-canon/panels/99_1.gif">
<img class="panel" width="650" height="450" src="https://cdn.beyondcanon.com/assets/story/homestuck-beyond-canon/panels/99_2.gif">
<img class="panel" width="650" height="450" src="https://cdn.beyondcanon.com/assets/story/homestuck-beyond-canon/panels/99_3.gif">
<div class="chat dead-jade">
<p class="jade">JADE: the prince’s power grows.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: JESUS CHRIST!</p>
</div>
<div class="command alt-callie">
<span>Alt. Calliope wrote:</span>
<div>> the knight of blood falls.</div>
</div>
<img class="panel" width="650" height="450" src="https://cdn.beyondcanon.com/assets/story/homestuck-beyond-canon/panels/100.gif">
<div class="chat dead-jade">
<p class="jade">JADE: i feel him resonate through the void.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: FUCKING GREAT.</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: dude can you chill for like even a single fucking second</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: also are you ok</p>
</div>
<div class="command alt-callie">
<span>Alt. Calliope wrote:</span>
<div>> karkat is characteristically appreciative of the alarm call.</div>
</div>
<img class="panel" width="650" height="450" src="https://cdn.beyondcanon.com/assets/story/homestuck-beyond-canon/panels/101_1.gif">
<img class="panel" width="650" height="450" src="https://cdn.beyondcanon.com/assets/story/homestuck-beyond-canon/panels/101_2.gif">
<div class="chat dead-jade">
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: OH, PARDON THE FUCK OUT OF ME FOR OVERREACTING A LITTLE WHEN MY GOOD FRIEND "POSSESSED JADE" BUSTS INTO MY RESPITEBLOCK AT 5 AM!</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: NEXT TIME I’LL JUST PULL THE COVERS BACK AND LET HER CLIMB IN!</p>
<p class="jade">JADE: i am uninterested in that scenario.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: GREAT! POSSESSED JADE ISN’T EVEN HORNY! HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: yeah i may be totally misunderstanding the intricacies of "next gen technology" designed by an idiot in microshorts</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: but im pretty sure i locked that door</p>
<p class="jade">JADE: i unlocked it with my mind.</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: fuck</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: FANTASTIC.</p>
<p class="jade">JADE: the prince’s powers are growing, but so are mine.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: WOW? COOL? AND YOU HAD TO COME IN HERE AT THE ASSCRACK OF THE MORNING TO TELL US THIS?</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: LIKE YOU DON’T FLOAT AROUND LIKE A CREEPY PIECE OF SHIT ALL DAY AS IT IS?</p>
<p class="jade">JADE: ...</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: OH, IS THAT ALL? NOTHING ELSE TO SAY?</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: karkat its fine</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: who cares</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: YEAH. YOU’RE RIGHT.</p>
</div>
<div class="command alt-callie">
<span>Alt. Calliope wrote:</span>
<div>> sleep is abandoned, coffee saught.</div>
</div>
<img class="panel" width="650" height="450" src="https://cdn.beyondcanon.com/assets/story/homestuck-beyond-canon/panels/102_1.gif">
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<div class="chat">
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: IT’S NOT LIKE WE ACTUALLY HAVE ANYTHING TO WAKE UP FOR.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: GO BACK TO BED.</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: no dude im up fuck it</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: i want coffee</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: FUCK! FINE! FUCK IT.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: I NEED TO USE THE GAPER ANYWAY.</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: oh me too</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: DON’T FOLLOW ME.</p>
</div>
<div class="command alt-callie">
<span>Alt. Calliope wrote:</span>
<div>> the rogue is also awake.</div>
</div>
<img class="panel" width="650" height="450" src="https://cdn.beyondcanon.com/assets/story/homestuck-beyond-canon/panels/103.gif">
<div class="chat">
<p class="roxy">ROXY: oh what up</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: its a whole ass pajama party up in here</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: couldnt sleep??</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: JADE WOKE US UP BY BEING CREEPY.</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: oh</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: jade why did u do that</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: WHAT?</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: OH SHIT, THERE SHE IS! I DIDN’T EVEN HEAR HER FOLLOW US!</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: sometimes a girls just got to get her drift on i guess</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: it be like that</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: I PREFERRED WHEN ALL SHE DID WAS FLOAT AROUND AND POINT AT SHIT.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: AT LEAST THAT WAS QUIET.</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: yall want coffee</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: sure</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: YEAH, THANKS.</p>
</div>
<img class="panel" width="650" height="450" src="https://cdn.beyondcanon.com/assets/story/homestuck-beyond-canon/panels/104.gif">
<div class="chat">
<p class="dave">DAVE: hate to give it up to venture capitalism but this coffee is EONS better than the garbage we had on the meteor</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: this ship is maybe the dumbest thing ive ever looked at but its a give and take right</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: maybe u just developed a taste for it</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: i used to think coffee tasted like ass but drinkin it was another thing i felt like my mom woulda done</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: turns out rose drinks tea and i stockholmed my own dumb butt into liking this addictive bean juice</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: well i mean who knows what she drinks now</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: dirk probs tossed the coffee machine out the space window right away</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: dude doesnt "believe" in "substances"</p>
</div>
<div class="command alt-callie">
<span>Alt. Calliope wrote:</span>
<div>> the prince is contemplated for a moment in silence.</div>
</div>
<img class="panel" width="650" height="450" src="https://cdn.beyondcanon.com/assets/story/homestuck-beyond-canon/panels/105.gif">
<div class="chat dead-jade">
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: WHY ARE YOU UP ANYWAY?</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: well i wasnt but then somebody screamed like a rooster boned a teapot and had a noisy lovechild</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: yeah thats basically accurate</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: FUCK YOU.</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: maybe if youre lucky</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: THAT JOKE STOPS BEING FUNNY WHEN WE’VE ACTUALLY</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: UH</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: IS THERE MILK?</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: lmao</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: in the fridge</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: wheres kanaya</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: idk</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: sleepin i hope</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: last time i saw her she was on the second floor</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: no</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: the third floor observation deck</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: this place is huge</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: PLEASE.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: IT’S MAYBE A TENTH THE SIZE OF THE METEOR.</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: yeah dude but that was basically a city</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: this is more like a castle</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: a castle of idk</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: twenty something ennui</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: anybody hungry</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: i was thinkin about alchemizing some pancakes</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: or maybe eggs</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: they all basically taste the same at the end of the day i think alchemized food is like eighty percent imagination</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: but both of you barely eat and its making me anxious</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: damn thanks mom</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: i mean</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: shit</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: dad</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: roxy</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: fuck sorry im tired</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: haha its ok</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: dont worry about it</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: okay but just because our relatives turned evil doesnt mean we have to act like total animals</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: we can still try to respect each others identities and shit</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: anyway im gonna go check on kanaya</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: possessed jade dont follow me</p>
<p class="jade">JADE: i am fine where i am.</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: cool</p>
</div>
<div class="command alt-callie">
<span>Alt. Calliope wrote:</span>
<div>> the knight of time seeks a sylph...</div>
</div>
<img class="panel" width="650" height="450" src="https://cdn.beyondcanon.com/assets/story/homestuck-beyond-canon/panels/106.gif">
<div class="command alt-callie">
<span>Alt. Calliope wrote:</span>
<div>> ...and finds her, momentarily.</div>
</div>
<img class="panel" width="650" height="450" src="https://cdn.beyondcanon.com/assets/story/homestuck-beyond-canon/panels/107.gif">
<img class="panel" width="650" height="450" src="https://cdn.beyondcanon.com/assets/story/homestuck-beyond-canon/panels/108.gif">
<div class="chat">
<p class="dave">DAVE: you ever feel like our whole lives are eventually gonna end up like this</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: just blasting through space on a sweeps long journey to ""somewhere"" chasing after or running from some vague enemy thats sometimes a god modded pet dog and sometimes your dad</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: without the faintest fucking idea of whats going to happen when we get there</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: thats a little specific but you know what i mean</p>
</div>
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<div class="chat">
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Hello Dave</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: sup</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: am i buggin you</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: do you want me to leave you to it or</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Not Particularly Now That Youre Here</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: But Shouldnt You Be Asleep</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: shouldnt you</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Need Less Sleep Than I Used To</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Less Food Too Which Is Fortunate For The Rest Of You</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: oh right</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: i always forget about the vampire thing because youre already an alien</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: and if somebody tried to sit me down and get me to watch a movie about a vampire alien id be like</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: come on pick a genre</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: except id watch it anyway because lets be honest the only person whod ever try to get me to watch something like that would be karkat</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: and if he can get me to watch serendipity he can get me to watch anything</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: but you get what im saying</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Yes</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: rose even told me</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: shit</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: sorry</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Its Alright To Say Her Name</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: i just dont want to remind you of that shit if i can avoid it</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: You Arent Reminding Me Of Her As I Rarely Think Of Anything Else</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Close My Eyes And I See Her</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Keep Them Open And I See Her</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Well I See Space And The Corner Of My Shoe Right Now</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: But Her Too</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Shes There In The Glint Of Fluorescence Shining Off The Shoe</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: And Shes Out There Somewhere In The Sea Of Stars</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Which Just Reminds Me Of One Of The Nursery Stories Shed Reserved To Read To Young Broods Of Grubs Back Then</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: oh huh</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: i still kind of have a hard time picturing rose reading to kids</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: maybe a dick thing to say but she doesnt seem like the type</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Understand</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Its One Thing To Come Into The Responsibilities Of Adulthood Yourself</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: And Another To Dwell On Those You Were Once Close To Struggling With Similar Pressures</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Growing Up So To Speak</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Its Strange</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: yeah</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: so what was the story</p>
</div>
<img class="panel" width="650" height="450" src="https://cdn.beyondcanon.com/assets/story/homestuck-beyond-canon/panels/110.gif">
<div class="chat">
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Oh Its A Wriggler Story About A Young Prince And The Beloved Flower He Loved And Lost</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: flower</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: like a plant</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Its A Fairytale Dave</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: right</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: A Singular Wild Rose He Failed To Cherish When He Had Her</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: And His Journey Of Discovering What She Meant To Him All Along</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Culminating In A New Quest To Find Her And Win Her Back</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: The Story Comments On The Nature Of Friendship</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: And Of Course In Turn Love</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: How Once They Connect There Is No Distance Or Circumstance That Can Seperate Them</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: How The Worlds In Each Ones Mind Take On Contours Shaped By Their Memories Of The Other</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Places And Moments And Orbiting Passersby Becoming More and More Entangled In The Context Of Their Mutual Affections</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Such As With A Garden Calling To Mind An Engagement Once Declared There</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Or Something To That Fucking Effect</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: that seems kind of wack for a kids story</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Its Possible I Am Projecting Slightly In This Specific Circumstances</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: It Was Just A Metaphor</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: But In A Way I Feel As If It Is the Greater Universe Trying To Tell Me Something</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: It May Simply Stem From My Longing To See Her Again And How Much Is Indicative Of Something More Sinister</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: She Is A Goddess Of Light And The Only Of Her Kind We Know Is Alive After All</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Maybe Shes Wrested Dominion Of The Entire Concept In All Its Appearances Within This Frame Of Reference</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Or Within My Personal Frame Of Reference At Least</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: And Made Them Her Own In Some Strange Way</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: So I Cant Help But See Her When I See It At All</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Whether Its A Star Or a Lightbulb</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: They All Just Leave Her Burnt Into My Mind Like The Blazing Imprint Of An Afterimage</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: i mean it sounds like you think its BECAUSE shes a god like shes wielding some kind of cosmic power over you</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: but if it was really true love or w/e</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: would you even know the difference</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Hmm</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Guess I Wouldnt</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: would you want to for that matter like isnt feeling that strongly connected kind of how youd want it to be anyway</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: i think its how id want it at least</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: can i sit down</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Of Course</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Its Not My Observation Deck</p>
</div>
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<div class="chat">
<p class="dave">DAVE: cool</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: sorry i know you say you got your badass monster powers but kanaya you look tired as hell</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: not that im tryna psyche you or whatever but youre waxing poetic in the dark which i guess is maybe on brand but still</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: kinda worried about you sis</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: You Dont Have To Call Me That Anymore</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: In Fact I Wish You Wouldnt</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: It Really Hasnt Ever Been Accurate</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: yeah well im pretty sure rose didnt serve you divorce papers before she left on her fucked up father/daughter rp</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: so youre still my sister</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: i mean you could always decide to divorce her yourself but i doubt youre going to find a lawyer in space</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: unless terezi is lurking in the vents somewhere and now that i bring that up its actually not out of the question so im kind of gonna be thinking about that one for a while</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: but yeah this whole situation blows</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: You And Karkat Didnt Have To Come With Me</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Know You Have Your Own Lives And Your Own Matespritship</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: no offense dude but yeah we did</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: i wasnt going to let the only family i have left fly off without me</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Roxy Didnt Have To Come Either</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: debatable</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: also i dont just mean roxy did you not just hear my heartwarming insistence that i think of you as my sister</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: and yeah roxy is rad but our relationship is pretty fucking convoluted if were being totally honest</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: youre the only person i know whos still basically the same as when i met you</p>
</div>
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<div class="chat">
<p class="dave">DAVE: no stay with me here</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: i know people grow and change and shit its dumb to think you havent improved or whatever since we met ten years ago</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: but rose is gone</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: and roxy isnt gone but he isnt really the same as he was before</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: maybe thats shitty of me to say and im like leaning in to my own internal biases</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: but talking to him feels different</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: and karkat is the same big fucking tool hes always been but our shit is definitely</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: uh</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: different than it was before</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: but yeah you i can always still recognize</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Am Quite Easy To Locate In The Dark</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: heh</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: yeah</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Thank You</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: for what</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: For Reminding Me Why Im Here</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: cool</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Since We Are Sharing In This Human Emotion Called Friendship</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: What About You</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: what about me what</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: How Are Your Feelings</p>
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<div class="chat">
<p class="dave">DAVE: oh those</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: yeah theyre pretty good</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: not much to say on that front</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: except sometimes your best friend disappears and your other best friend goes into a ghost coma and your third best friend fucks off to space with your dad</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: the dude youve spent the last 7 years convincing yourself isnt an egomaniacal anime villain</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: and who isnt actually lying in wait to completely decimate your life and your emotions and shit</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: anyway i forgot what my point was but yeah im fine</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: though what the fuck does that even mean anymore for any of us</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: maybe it was naive to think that a bunch of twenty something trauma victims could run a society</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: maybe this is better</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: at least this way we cant fuck it up worse</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: cool how earth c existed for centuries then we show up and manage to ruin society in seven fucking years</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: maybe dirk actually did the smartest thing he could</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: fucking left</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Perhaps</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: But He Did Leave Arguably The Two Worst Possible People In Charge When He Did</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: man i guess</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: but who knows maybe jane will turn out to be a great president</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: maybe without dirks corrupting influence jakes ass will become a symbol of peace and interspecies harmony</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: at least everyone can agree on something</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: shit how does this always happen</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: every serious conversation i have inevitably falls apart into riffing on a casual acquaintances ass</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Not To Suggest Anything Untoward</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: But You Appear To Be The Unifying Component In All Of These Scenarios</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: could be</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: but all that aside i really do think were better off out here</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: at least i am</p>
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<div class="command alt-callie">
<span>Alt. Calliope wrote:</span>
<div>> meanwhile...</div>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: sooooo</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: do u want pancakes</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: i can make pancakes</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: DO YOU THINK HE’S OKAY?</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: who</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: DAVE.</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: idk you know him better than i do</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: actually i think u know him better than anybody might know anybody??</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: you guys are like the real fuckin deal</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: I GUESS??</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: WAIT, WHY THE FUCK AM I EVEN ASKING? HE’S OBVIOUSLY NOT FINE.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: ARE ANY OF US? ARE YOU?</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: not rly</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: EXACTLY.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: KANAYA BARELY EVEN TALKS, CALLIOPE WON’T LEAVE THEIR CABIN, JADE JUST FLOATS AROUND LIKE A CREEPY BALLOON THAT’S MOSTLY MADE OF HAIR.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: THE REALLY FUCKED UP THING IS I MIGHT BE THE MOST OKAY OUT OF ALL OF US, WHICH IS HOW YOU KNOW SHIT HAS REALLY GONE GLOBES UP.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: ALL OF YOU LOST YOUR FAMILY. I JUST LOST SOME PEOPLE I SORT OF KNOW.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: AND THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE, AND THANK GOD FOR THAT.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: FUCK, CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW IT WOULD HAVE SHOOK OUT IF JAKE HADN’T SHIT HIMSELF ONSTAGE?</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: prbly way less smelly</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW WHY I LET DAVE TALK ME INTO IT. JESUS CHRIST.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: NOTHING GOOD HAS EVER COME OF ME BEING IN CHARGE OF JACK DICK.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: TO BE HONEST, I THINK JANE WINNING THE PRESIDENCY MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME?</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: EVERY TIME I’VE EVER TRIED TO "LEAD" ANYTHING IT’S BLOWN UP IN MY FACE.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: DID YOU KNOW THAT WHEN I WAS A WRIGGLER I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE THE GUY TO LEAD ALL OF MY FRIENDS TO GLORY?</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: I LITERALLY FOUGHT PEOPLE FOR CONTROL OF THE TEAM, AND WHAT ENDED UP HAPPENING WAS LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS BESIDES KANAYA DIED.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: ACTUALLY, SHE DID DIE!</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: FUCK!</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: I’M ZERO FOR ZERO!</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: ur kinda an intense dude anybody ever tell u that</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: NO.</p>
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<div class="chat">
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: MY POINT IS, THIS IS THE BEST POSSIBLE SCENARIO FOR ME. I DON’T EVEN LIKE EARTH THAT MUCH.</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: well ur lucky i guess</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: NO, I’M NOT--FUCK. I’M NOT TRYING TO BRAG ABOUT IT!</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: I’M JUST SAYING, DON’T WASTE YOUR SYMPATHY ON ME.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: AGAINST PRETTY MUCH ALL ODDS, AND DESPITE ME NOT DESERVING ANY OF IT, I ENDED UP GETTING PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING I WANTED.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: OVER AND OVER AGAIN.</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: SOMETIMES IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE WHATEVER SLATHERING MONSTROSITY OF A COSMIC HELLBEAST THAT PUT ALL THIS SHIT INTO MOTION...ACTUALLY LIKES ME?</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: fucked up if tru</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A LITERAL UNIVERSE-SHATTERING WAR FOR THE CONTINUATION OF OUR RACES, AND DAVE AND I JUST SPENT THREE YEARS CLIMBING UP EACH OTHER’S NOOKS AND PLAYING VIDEO GAMES. AND I GUESS ALSO SAVING PARADOX SPACE.</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: so what ur saying is love can bloom even on the battlefield</p>
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: I GUESS.</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: so...u want pancakes?</p>
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<div class="chat">
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: YEAH. OKAY.</p>
</div>
<p class="command-line">> <a href="chapter4.html">CHAPTER 4. The Contest</a></p>
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