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diff --git a/album/the-baby-is-june.txt b/album/the-baby-is-june.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f84815f --- /dev/null +++ b/album/the-baby-is-june.txt @@ -0,0 +1,427 @@ +Album: The Baby is June +Artist: Funk McLovin +Date: November 23, 2020 +Cover Art: Funk McLovin +Has Track Art: no +Color: #00c0ff +Groups: +- Funk McLovin +- Fandom +URLs: +- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/album/the-baby-is-june +- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVNREaFFhdM +------------------------------------------------------------------------------- +Track: Meat Nor Candy +Duration: 0:37 +Contributors: +- Funk McLovin (Dave) +- AE (June) +- Bucky Grant (Karkat) +URLs: +- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/meat-nor-candy +Lyrics: + DAVE: so june + DAVE: did you pick meat or candy + JUNE: dave?? + JUNE: how did you know i was at a picnic? + DAVE: everyone knows + DAVE: its a super important choice with important ramifications + JUNE: what? oh man, this might be bad. + KARKAT: OH SWEET FUCK. WHAT DID YOU DO, JUNE. + DAVE: did you even go to the fucking picnic + JUNE: n- no? i... i... + DAVE: urgh + DAVE: fuck + DAVE: ugh + JUNE: dave, what's going on! + KARKAT: THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO, JUNE. + DAVE: i can only explain whats happening to me + DAVE: ngh + DAVE: in <i>song</i> +------------------------------------------------------------------------------- +Track: Dave's Ballad +Duration: 1:54 +Contributors: +- Funk McLovin (Dave) +- AE (June) +- Bucky Grant (Karkat) +URLs: +- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/daves-ballad-2 +Lyrics: + I was walkin' down the street practicing some rhymes + Just like you do when you're the knight of time + When a realization struck me clear out the blue + In through the outdoor I pulled the wazoo + + I saw the time foam in a paradox space + And faster than the bunny won the tortoise race + I knew you had to make a lun-choice + You had to utter two words with your very own voice + + And June if you didn't then there's just one catch + If you didn't select one of Calliope's snacks + One final timeline that I know to be true + I'm having a baby and the baby is you + + JUNE: but dave... + JUNE: the tortoise won the race. + KARKAT: IT DOESN'T MATTER RIGHT NOW, JUNE. + KARKAT: FOCUS ON THE BABY PART. + + Well I'm having a baby and the baby is you + I'm having a baby and the baby is you + I'm having a baby and the baby is you + I know this to be true + + I'm having a baby and the baby is you + I'm having a baby and the baby is you + I'm having a baby and the baby is you + You better buy some tiny shoes + + JUNE: how the hell does this even work?? + DAVE: oh well im glad you asked + + You'll remember in a time in a game called SBURB + When "ectobiologize" was the key verb + You made a bunch of shitty little baby clones + And sent them to the appropriate time zones + + But along the way the wires got crossed + And out into the first ring baby June was tossed + You could see how this could be + A little problem metaphysically + + Because if you're marooned in the depths of space + You couldn't make the baby clone of yourself in the first place + And now to complete the right time loop + I've been impregnated and the baby is you + + Well I'm having a baby and the baby is you + I'm having a baby and the baby is you + I'm having a baby and the baby is you + I know this to be true (oooh!) + + I'm having a baby and the baby is you (...) + I'm having a baby and the baby is you + I'm having a baby and the baby is you + You better buy some tiny shoes + + JUNE: dave, what the fuck. +------------------------------------------------------------------------------- +Track: Karkat's Lament +Duration: 2:44 +Contributors: +- Bucky Grant (Karkat) +URLs: +- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/karkats-lament +Lyrics: + I'm just a troll, a troll so enamored + With a man who speaks with that annoying stammer + In spite of his yammering and habits thereof + I wish there was a way to express my love + + I've not been one for shows of affection + They're always taken in some awful direction + And uh, since I'm a troll and he's a human + Well I've got no template for wooing acumen + + Now that I'm comfy with the time that I spend + Happy to be with him until the bitter end + Paradox space so cruelly descends + He's having a baby and the baby's my friend + + Oh I'm just a troll, a troll so enamored + WIth a man who has- pff- zero manners + And just when I was poised to get used to him + Reality reminded me it's just too grim + + But wishing my heart with a fatal twist + That I could love him in domestic bliss + But what I wanted wasn't goddamn this + Things weren't supposed to go amiss + + But when you imagine a dispute of the heart + Something to drive two lovers apart + In the books that I read when I was a grub + There were strpies like passion and conflict and love + + But in those tomes over which I pored + Reading about the quadrants that I adored + It wasn't a whisper or even a maybe + Of your boyfriend having his best friend's baby + + [Pensive trumpet solo.] + + I'm just a troll, a troll so enamored + Of a boy I can't help but chase after + Gestating my buddy in his gravid womb + I can't let this be Davekat's doom + + I'm just a troll, a troll so enamored + With a man who speaks with that annoying stammer + In spite of his yammering and habits thereof + I wish there was a way to express my love +------------------------------------------------------------------------------- +Track: June's Ode +Duration: 2:44 +Contributors: +- AE (June) +- Funk McLovin (Dave) +URLs: +- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/junes-ode +Lyrics: + DAVE: alright youll be able to see the ultrasound image on the monitor + DAVE: the miracle of life is wonderful dont you agree june + DAVE: uh + DAVE: june + + That baby is me + It's plain to see + From the ultrasound image + And my friend's stomach + Looking so carefree + + I've been through a lot + I've seen some shit + But this takes the cake + This one is it + + I can't carry on + I can't wrap my brain + His stomach's distended a baby + With my own face + + It's got my buckteeth + And my mischevious grin + Even more upsetting + I see my glasses on them + + I try to shout + I try to scream + But I can't comprehend + The baby is me + + My buddy Dave is pregnant + With a baby who is me + Seems surreal + What's the deal + He's swimming in Dave's pee + + DAVE: its not pee june its amniotic fluid + DAVE: theres a big difference + + (Hey while you guys are singing, do mind if I take a trumpet solo?) + (Sure thing doc, go right ahead.) + + [Prenatal trumpet solo.] + + A child in my bro + A wholeass baby kid + Not even the result + Of something I did + + Dave is taking this well + What the fuck is his deal + I've been losing my mind + Is this how the virgin Mary feels + + Look at their weird face + On the ultrasound screen + They're looking at me + God what could this mean + + How can Dave sit there + With zero qualms + Is he a good dad + Am I a good mom + + My buddy Dave is pregnant + With a baby who is me + Seems surreal + What's the deal + He's swimming in Dave's pee + + DAVE: for the last time its not pee +------------------------------------------------------------------------------- +Track: Off Brand +Duration: 3:58 +Contributors: +- AE (June) +- Bucky Grant (Karkat) +- Funk McLovin (Dave) +URLs: +- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/off-brand +Lyrics: + JUNE: i hope dave is okay. + JUNE: what do you think will happen if something goes wrong? + JUNE: what if i evaporate, like in back to the future? + KARKAT: IT'LL BE FINE, JUNE. + JUNE: but i've been hearing trumpet playing from the delivery room this whole time. + KARKAT: NO DON'T WORRY, THAT'S JUST THE DOCTOR FROM TRACK FOUR. + JUNE: oh, right. + + I know it's off brand + But I wouldn't worry + Dave's a strong sort of guy + + He's a good dad + So we'd better hurry + And pull ourselves together, here's why + + Through these nine months + I've hemmed and I've hawed + But here's the conclusion I came to + + It's surreal and unfun + But I've been so in awe + You me and Dave too + + I know it's our friend + But I sort of agree + Dave's taken this just like a champ + + It's not the most grand + That the baby is me + But we really oughta be in Dave's camp + + Through these nine months + I've been so horrified + About the implications metaphysic + + But through these nine months + Not one single time + Have I told Dave he's terrific + + I know it's not grand + But the trio of us + Two dads and one paradox daughter + + Can be hand in hand + One family of us + Come temporal hell or high water + + DAVE: well folks great news + JUNE: oh, dave! thank god. + KARKAT: DAVE, LOOK AT HER. + KARKAT: IT'S A LITTLE JUNE. + JUNE: i'm still not entirely sure how it was born with my glasses on... + DAVE: i have some bad news + KARKAT: WHAT IS IT? + JUNE: what do you mean? + DAVE: to preserve the time loop this baby has to go back in time and live your childhood june + DAVE: we cant keep it + KARKAT: ...I GUESS THIS IS OUR ONE CHANCE TO SAY GOODBYE. + + I know it's off brand + But I'm teary-eyed + I love this little dude most + + Karkat my man + And June buddy of mine + Now I know why we're so close + + When we were kids + Playing SBURB + I knew that we all were connected + + Through all this amidst + Our trials absurd + It's not quite the way we expected + + I know it's off brand + But the trio of us + Two dads and one paradox daughter + + Can be hand in hand + One family of us + Come temporal hell or high water + + DAVE: well + DAVE: that was weird + DAVE: i gotta admit im kinda sad that i didnt get to raise a little june + JUNE: i'm not... + KARKAT: WELL, AT LEAST WE LEARNED A VALUABLE LESSON FROM THIS. + DAVE: we did + KARKAT: SURE. + JUNE: what was it? + KARKAT: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. + KARKAT: BUT I'M SURE SOMEDAY IT WILL COME IN HANDY. + KARKAT: LIKE SOME OBSCURE TRIAL WILL HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE AND WE'LL BE ABLE TO DRAW ON OUR COLLECTIVE KNOWLEDGE OF THE MECHANICS OF PARADOX IMPREGNATION. + JUNE: it's kind of like jesus, huh? + JUNE: a virgin birth. + DAVE: definitely not a virgin + KARKT: WHAT'S A VIRGIN? + JUNE: man, i wonder what would have happened if i'd chosen meat or candy. + DAVE: good question june buddy + DAVE: i guess the world will just never know + [Laughter.] + JUNE: probably for the best. +------------------------------------------------------------------------------- +Track: Dave's Ballad Reprise +Duration: 1:49 +Contributors: +- Funk McLovin (Dave) +- articulatelyComposed (Rose) +URLs: +- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/daves-ballad-reprise +Lyrics: + DAVE: so yeah basically uh + DAVE: i got pregnant with a paradox clone of june + DAVE: and that was my weekend + DAVE: what about you + ROSE: Wait, what. + ROSE: Explain. + DAVE: alright so + DAVE: june was supposed to make a selection between meat and candy at a picnic + DAVE: right + ROSE: Yes. + ROSE: Yeah, that was my idea. + DAVE: but she didnt do that + DAVE: so like you might have imagined- + ROSE: So you gave birth to her. + DAVE: yeah yeah + DAVE: no thats + DAVE: thats basically the whole and the half of it + ROSE: ...Why do I feel like this has happened before? + DAVE: you know i felt that too + DAVE: it was like through the whole thing + DAVE: it was like this feeling of deja vu + DAVE: i dont even know if i have a womb anymore + ROSE: I mean, paradox space can do strange things. + DAVE: yeah + DAVE: well i guess its good that yknow + DAVE: she didnt choose meat or candy + DAVE: who knows how that would have gone + ROSE: Oh, god. + DAVE: yeah who knows + ROSE: Now that I think about it, that was a terrible choice. + ROSE: I don't know why I even thought it would be... decent. + DAVE: yeah thats ok + DAVE: you cant see the fu- well + DAVE: you cant see the future i guess + DAVE: i kinda made a musical angle of it + DAVE: so like + DAVE: uh + DAVE: you wanna + DAVE: do you wanna + DAVE: you wanna do something with that + DAVE: we could probably syndicate this and sell it to someone + ROSE: Honestly? Sure, why not. + DAVE: alright lets do it + ROSE: Why not make a couple bucks aft our wacky adventures. + DAVE: yeah + DAVE: lets do this + DAVE: i had a whole baby i might as well gat a couple dollars out of it + + You (I) had a baby and the baby was June + You (I) had a baby and the baby was June + You (I) had a baby and the baby was June + It's absurd to be true (ooooh) + + Dave (I) had a baby and the baby was June + He (I) had a baby and the baby was June + Dave (I) had the baby and the baby was June + And that fixed the paradox loop (ooooh) + + ROSE: Actually, on second thought, making a musical out of this seems like a bad idea. + DAVE: yeah its kind of tacky |