Update LOFAM5A2 to match commentary booklet

This commit cleans up the LOFAM 5 Act 2 file so that it matches the most up-to-date version of the commentary booklet. Pixels & Paradiddles artist entry added to match their preferred credits as well.

1 files changed, 27 insertions, 27 deletions

diff --git a/album/lofam5a2.yaml b/album/lofam5a2.yaml
index 22d9479..efce6f1 100644
--- a/album/lofam5a2.yaml
+++ b/album/lofam5a2.yaml
@@ -252,7 +252,7 @@ Referenced Tracks:
 - Doctor
 Commentary: |-
     <i>Fender_Jess:</i>
-    So Vriskafic8ion is a track Ash wrote inspired by the fanfiction "<a href="https://archiveofourown.org/series/1475819">godfeels</a>", wherein John becomes June with an assist from her own personal brain ghost Vriska. Basically, June is all of John's power and free spirit, combined with Vriska's determination, neverending drive and penchant for (over-re)action. She's a chaotic whirlwind of violence and action and willpower and volatility, all with Vriska there, in spirit, hand on her shoulder. Godfeels is one of my all-time favorite fanworks, and seeing this track appear on LOFAM was an absolute delight, so I wanted to give it a visual punch to go along with the energy of the music. The piece itself is just a few vignettes of important moments plus a Cool Action Shot of June to tie it all together. As simple as the concept is, I'm really happy with how it came out; this is definitely the most ambitious thing I've ever drawn, hahah 
+    So Vriskafic8ion is a track Ash wrote inspired by the fanfiction "<a href="https://archiveofourown.org/series/1475819">godfeels</a>", wherein John becomes June with an assist from her own personal brain ghost Vriska. Basically, June is all of John's power and free spirit, combined with Vriska's determination, neverending drive and penchant for (over-re)action. She's a chaotic whirlwind of violence and action and willpower and volatility, all with Vriska there, in spirit, hand on her shoulder. Godfeels is one of my all-time favorite fanworks (in fact I voice June in a fandub called podfeels, check it out!), and seeing this track appear on LOFAM was an absolute delight, so I wanted to give it a visual punch to go along with the energy of the music. The piece itself is just a few vignettes of important moments plus a Cool Action Shot of June to tie it all together. As simple as the concept is, I'm really happy with how it came out; this is definitely the most ambitious thing I've ever drawn, hahah 
 ---
 Track: 'Flight of the Meteor: Year 1'
 Artists:
@@ -276,27 +276,27 @@ Commentary: |-
     <i>Jebb:</i>
     Hoo boy, this one!
 
-    I had always had the idea of making some sort of "epic trailer music" kinda track, but every one of my attempts never passed the sketch phase. When I joined the LOFAM 5A2 team, I felt like it would be the perfect time to finally try and make that sort of thing, however when I actually tried to make it, nothing really stuck.
+    I had always had the idea of making some sort of ""epic trailer music"" kinda track, but every one of my attempts never passed the sketch phase. When I joined the LOFAM 5A2 team, I felt like it would be the perfect time to finally try and make that sort of thing, however when I actually tried to make it, nothing really stuck.
 
-    Around that time, I went to see a live Hans Zimmer concert that was touring. I already like movie soundtracks, however, seeing them performed live was an entirely different feeling. It was so grand, so important, so majestic. In short, i adored it. And moreso, it was the final push that i needed. During an intermission, i came up with something and quickly recorded myself humming it, and that recording was the thing that finally gave me the inspiration to make this track.
+    Around that time, I went to see a live Hans Zimmer concert that was touring. I already like movie soundtracks, however, seeing them performed live was an entirely different feeling. It was so grand, so important, so majestic. In short, I adored it. And moreso, it was the final push that I needed. During an intermission, I came up with something and quickly recorded myself humming it, and that recording was the thing that finally gave me the inspiration to make this track.
 
-    Flight of the Meteor is supposed to be a series of tracks about the 3-year journey of the Meteor crew and the events that happened during it. The image that came up in my mind every time I brainstormed about "The Epic LOFAM Track™" was always the trolls' meteor, and frankly, I am not even too sure why. Possibly because at the time i thought that it was one of the only major events in Homestuck that didn't really have music associated with it (But then I remembered [[track:gold-pilot|Gold Pilot]] and the [[flash:4109|Cascade]] flash so yeah lol). Still, I really liked the idea, and the concept stuck.
+    Flight of the Meteor is supposed to be a series of tracks about the 3-year journey of the Meteor crew and the events that happened during it. The image that came up in my mind every time I brainstormed about ""The Epic LOFAM Track™"" was always the trolls' meteor, and frankly, I am not even too sure why. Possibly because at the time I thought that it was one of the only major events in Homestuck that didn't really have music associated with it (But then I remembered [[track:gold-pilot|Gold Pilot]] and the [[flash:4109|Cascade]] flash so yeah lol). Still, I really liked the idea, and the concept stuck.
 
     Now, hold on, a *series* of tracks? What do you mean, Jebb? Well, if you are reading this commentary in the future, then you probably know. If you aren't, well, you probably already figured it out. But still, a bit of an explanation.
 
-    At first, this track was supposed to be one single very long track. As i was making it, i very quickly reached 4 minutes in length, which was already a lot for my standards. However, the parts that I had finished were only supposed to be the middle, so that would mean that I would be going into the 7-8 minute territory. I wasn't really bothered by that, but by that point i was already getting pretty tired and the deadlines were creeping up, so I wasn't sure if I would be able to do it. On top of that, I had another WIP of an alternate version of this track which I had started earlier and slowly chipped away at in between the other LOFAM tracks since both others and I believed that it had potential. At that point I determined that all of this was a bit too much for me and decided to make the latter part of Flight of the Meteor its own track and save both it and the WIP for a later LOFAM.
+    At first, this was supposed to be one single very long track. As I was making it, I very quickly reached 4 minutes in length, which was already a lot for my standards. However, the parts that I had finished were only supposed to be the middle, so that would mean that I would be going into the 7-8 minute territory. I wasn't really bothered by that, but by that point I was already getting pretty tired and the deadlines were creeping up, so I wasn't sure if I would be able to do it. On top of that, I had another WIP of an alternate version of this track which I had started earlier and slowly chipped away at in between the other LOFAM tracks since both others and I believed that it had potential. At that point I determined that all of this was a bit too much for me and decided to make the latter part of Flight of the Meteor its own track and save both it and the WIP for a later LOFAM.
 
-    It was at that moment that [[artist:makin|Makin]] said "thematically it needs to take three years to finish", which gave me a fantastic idea. Of course! I just make each track a different year of the journey! I mean, it was already like that, but i just somehow never thought to name them by their years.
+    It was at that moment that [[artist:makin|Makin]] said ""thematically it needs to take three years to finish"", which gave me a fantastic idea. Of course! I just make each track a different year of the journey! I mean, it was already like that, but I just somehow never thought to name them by their years.
 
-    Now, enough backstory, time to talk about the track itself.
+    Now, enough backstory, time to talk about the piece itself.
 
     This track, Year 1, is focused on the beginning of the journey, mainly the actual launch of the asteroid. The beginning shows us the Meteor, serenely flying through the open space. Starting from approximately the middle, we flashback to the events of [[flash:4109|Cascade]], and as the threats of a dying universe and Jack Noir loom, Sollux charges up (3:15) and, with the volume peaking, launches the Meteor with all of his power. The tension dies down and a melancholic yet triumphant piano plays to show that the danger has passed, and a new chapter of the trolls and kids' lives is beginning. Essentially, this could very well be an alternate track for Cascade's meteor launch part.
 
-    The morse code you hear after the peak is supposed to be Serenity, however i didn't really have anything deep or impactful for her to say so i just had her beep out ""hehe Homestuck""
+    The morse code you hear after the peak is supposed to be Serenity, however I didn't really have anything deep or impactful for her to say, so I just had her beep out ""hehe Homestuck""
 
     On the more technical side of things, my computer absolutely HATED this track.
 
-    My pc was chugging HARD when i was working on this. (Funnily enough, I am pretty sure that the biggest issue was all the automation.) If not for [[artist:grace-medley|Grace]] teaching me about the ""switch smart disable for all plugins""" option in FL i would have really struggled.
+    My pc was chugging HARD when I was working on this. (Funnily enough, I am pretty sure that the biggest issue was all the automation.) If not for [[artist:grace-medley|Grace]] teaching me about the ""switch smart disable for all plugins"" option in FL I would have really struggled.
 
     Speaking of struggle. God, I absolutely DESPISE BBC Studio Orchestra. Their instruments sound so good, but it just absolutely \*refuses* to function. Every single time I reopened the project file, almost every single instance of it broke and I had to spend like 4 straight minutes relaunching every single one until they all worked properly again. I tried to google fixes for it, redownloading it, and all for nothing. I swear, after this I am switching to Kontakt, this was absolutely unbearable. Would not recommend.
 
@@ -704,7 +704,7 @@ Commentary: |-
     The homestuck melodies you know and love, now with a tangy salsa flavor! I made this after being inspired to write some latin jazz, and then accidentally adding the melody from Descend to it. "Hey, this sounds really good," I thought, as I proceeded to brainlessly structure the entire song around homestuck motifs. Anyways, I hope you enjoy, and try to recognize all the melodies!
 
     <i>Torrent 64:</i>
-    I really loved the vibe of this track. Since I'm of Puerto Rican descent, I've always had a partiality towards Salsa music, so I just knew I had to make the art for this track. The artwork is a parody of the album cover for Lo Mato by  Willie Colón & Héctor Lavoe, just with Tavros and John.
+    I really loved the vibe of this track. Since I'm of Puerto Rican descent, I've always had a partiality towards Salsa music, so I just knew I had to make the art for this track. The artwork is a parody of the album cover for Lo Mato by Willie Colón & Héctor Lavoe, just with Tavros and John.
 ---
 Track: Fugalanthequins
 Artists:
@@ -819,7 +819,7 @@ Commentary: |-
 
     But earlier this year, a post by uP crossed my dash after he'd disappeared from my periphery for well over a year. He was outlining his plans surrounding <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/series/1433650">Pumpkin Path</a>, a story he's writing that runs adjacent to the Epilogues and (eventually though not yet?) gives these characters the futures they've earned.
 
-    And I realised...that's not how it works, y'know? It's not the story that has changed: it's my heart, my relationship with it. And the best thing I could do was take what this once-beloved story gave me and make something new with it. And that's what many people have done in the wake of Homestuck's end: we've all gone off and made new stories, for which this long-beloved comic was an undeniable progenitor.
+    And I realised...the way I'd been thinking about it, that's not how it works, y'know? It's not the story that has changed: it's my heart, my relationship with it. And the best thing I could do was take what this once-beloved story gave me and make something new with it. And that's what many people have done in the wake of Homestuck's end: we've all gone off and made new stories, for which this long-beloved comic was an undeniable progenitor.
 
     It reminded me of a certain recurring motif in the comic itself. Every time the universe resulted in a corrupt or barren session, the players...well, they rebooted it. They left the old universe behind, and started a new one, billions of years all over again just to see where it would go this time.
 
@@ -1107,32 +1107,32 @@ Lyrics: |-
     (Wǒ mén yī qǐ xiàng qián fēi, bù pà hán lěng bù pà hēi)
     <i>(We'll fly forth together, unafraid of the cold and dark)</i>
     Don't you be afraid, a new story starts
-    (Jìn rù xīn yǔ zhòu guāng huī, shí kōng lè tuán de zhǐ huī)
+    (Jìn rù xīn yǔ zhòu guāng huī, shí kōng yuè tuán de zhǐ huī)
     <i>(Enter the brilliance of the new universe, conductor of the spacetime orchestra)</i>
     (Wǒ mén yī qǐ xiàng qián fēi) <i>(We'll fly forth together)</i>
     When the curtains part
     (Bù pà hán lěng bù pà hēi) <i>(Unafraid of the cold and dark)</i>
     To reveal the conductor
-    (Jìn rù xīn yǔ zhòu guāng huī, shí kōng lè tuán de zhǐ huī)
+    (Jìn rù xīn yǔ zhòu guāng huī, shí kōng yuè tuán de zhǐ huī)
     <i>(Enter the brilliance of the new universe, conductor of the spacetime orchestra)</i>
 
     The light and darkness dovetail
     (Wǒ mén yī qǐ xiàng qián fēi, bù pà hán lěng bù pà hēi)
     <i>(We'll fly forth together, unafraid of the cold and dark)</i>
     The scorelines burn and
-    (Jìn rù xīn yǔ zhòu guāng huī, shí kōng lè tuán de zhǐ huī)
+    (Jìn rù xīn yǔ zhòu guāng huī, shí kōng yuè tuán de zhǐ huī)
     <i>(Enter the brilliance of the new universe, conductor of the spacetime orchestra)</i>
     (Wǒ mén yī qǐ xiàng qián fēi) <i>(We'll fly forth together)</i>
     They'll return
     (Bù pà hán lěng bù pà hēi) <i>(Unafraid of the cold and dark)</i>
     Can you hear the page start to turn?
-    (Jìn rù xīn yǔ zhòu guāng huī, shí kōng lè tuán de zhǐ huī)
+    (Jìn rù xīn yǔ zhòu guāng huī, shí kōng yuè tuán de zhǐ huī)
     <i>(Enter the brilliance of the new universe, conductor of the spacetime orchestra)</i>
 Commentary: |-
     <i>Circlejourney:</i>
     *“This is my last Homestuck track. (Well, it's intended to be...)”* — my past self, who didn’t know any better.
 
-    Jade talks to Calliope on the floating stage before great events are set into motion.
+    Jade talks to Calliope on the floating stage before great events are set into motion. The backing lyrics at the end roughly translate to “We'll fly forth together, unafraid of the cold and dark. Enter the brilliance of the new universe, conductor of the spacetime orchestra.”
 
     <i>ricemilk:</i>
     I was floored hearing this song. I very much love the epic part of the shitpost epic that Homestuck is. I also love songs including vocals in this fandom. (that means I can sing it and I very much did while drawing) I wish I could make something resembling chinese artwork to honor the song's concept. I tried but ultimately failed to. I took a pretty literal route with the track art instead, drawing from the lyrics. 
@@ -1271,8 +1271,7 @@ Commentary: |-
 
     Strikingly similar to Hiveswap’s Outglut, Grubheap is a series of the most basic, barely passable hives. If the caste of their tenants weren’t so laughable, one might note that Grubheap’s population by volume rivals that of the other larger settlements.
 
-    While the problems of low-caste society are always present (poverty, drone-kidnapping, general threat of culling), some still proudly call Grubheap their home- without sarcasm. As the locals say:<br>
-    “We may be in the shit... but at least we’re in the shit together.”
+    While the problems of low-caste society are always present (poverty, drone-kidnapping, general threat of culling), some still proudly call Grubheap their home- without sarcasm. As the locals say: “We may be in the shit... but at least we’re in the shit together.”
 
     <i>Ender:</i>
     I listened to "Grubheap" before I read Spiny's commentary for it, and immediately imagined the shittiest possible place in Alternia. Looks like we were both on the same wavelength! The word "Grubheap" reminded me of a trash heap. This translated to, in the composition of the piece at least, to a dirty, wet, garbage filled back alleyway, and an average guy just doing his best to survive. I've also been playing quite a lot of Bomb Rush Cyberfunk recently, and was itching to draw some graffitti. This rustblood tagging his own city as a "grubheap" shows, in my mind, how the only thing he really wants is to just get the hell outta here someday. Me and Spiny decided that he takes a hit by taking off his mask and then putting it back on, and that he's an Heir of Mind. Special thanks to my good friend Vapor (@vapor_spams) for the guidance on the red and blue lighting!
@@ -1296,11 +1295,11 @@ Sampled Tracks:
 - Showdown
 Commentary: |-
     <i>Jebb:</i>
-    This track was initially made for fun and inspired by a land for a character from the <a href="https://mspfa.com/?s=37159">Aleph Null MSPFA</a>. I had it stashed for a while until this LOFAM came and I remembered about this track. After browsing the wiki for a bit, I realised that it fits Karkat's land perfectly, and after a few adjustments it became this.
+    This track was initially made for fun and inspired by a land for a character from the <a href="https://mspfa.com/?s=37159">Aleph Null MSPFA</a>. I had it stashed for a while until this LOFAM came and I remembered about this piece. After browsing the wiki for a bit, I realised that it fits Karkat's land perfectly, and after a few adjustments it became this.
     
     The heavy piano idea came from the intro to DCEU Lex Luthor's theme.
     
-    If I were to characterize this I would say that while Phaze and Blood shows us the more aggressive and violent nature of the land, this track represents the more sombre and tragic nature of it. "(Karkat) thinks he was put on this planet covered in an ocean of his own blood to be taunted. Punished for something. Saddest story you ever heard."
+    If I were to characterize this, I would say that while Phaze and Blood shows us the more aggressive and violent nature of the land, this track represents the more sombre and tragic nature of it. "(Karkat) thinks he was put on this planet covered in an ocean of his own blood to be taunted. Punished for something. Saddest story you ever heard."
 ---
 Track: "RE:TCON (Act 2 RE:DUX)"
 Artists:
@@ -1880,6 +1879,7 @@ Commentary: |-
 ---
 Track: deadkidsGodhood
 Artists:
+- Pixels & Paradiddles
 - pixelseph
 - paradiddlesjosh
 Duration: '2:42'
@@ -2562,8 +2562,7 @@ Sampled Tracks:
 - dogs. probably not a lot we can do here
 Commentary: |-
     <i>Gryotharian:</i> (& Hart)
-    "Dogs. You love dogs, don’t you? Everybody loves a good dog. And this is the story of the best dog."<br>
-    —an excerpt from 'Hotel of the Butcherbird', by Gryotharian and Hart.
+    "Dogs. You love dogs, don’t you? Everybody loves a good dog. And this is the story of the best dog."—an excerpt from 'Hotel of the Butcherbird', by Gryotharian and Hart.
 
     <i>Adrian “gravitygauntlet” Wahrer:</i>
     dog.
@@ -2936,6 +2935,7 @@ Commentary: |-
 ---
 Track: Clockstopper (New Game+ All Clocks%)
 Artists:
+- Pixels & Paradiddles
 - pixelseph
 - paradiddlesjosh
 Duration: '5:48'
@@ -3039,7 +3039,7 @@ Commentary: |-
     <i>Kett:</i>
     This song goes hard and I really wanted something that reflected that.
 
-    Dance of Storms takes John and puts him in Rose's place instead. I combined one of John's basic hammers with Rose's Thorns of Oglogoth, hence the skull for the hammer head, and added Rose's colour to the storm clouds behind him to try and futher that connection.
+    Dance of Storms takes John and puts him in Rose's place instead. I combined one of John's basic hammers with Rose's Thorns of Oglogoth, hence the skull for the hammer's head, and added Rose's colour to the storm clouds behind him to try and further that connection.
 
     The hammer has been officially named Drub'yiglith by fellow artist [[artist:horizonseek-studios|meta70914]].
 ---
@@ -3144,7 +3144,7 @@ Commentary: |-
 
     Next I needed to learn how to sing. Or so I thought, at any rate. I happened to be noodling around on this track in a Discord voice call one evening, and who should pop in and ask to do the vocals but [[group:unofficial-mspa-fans|UMSPAF]] emeritus VeritasUnae? I leapt on the opportunity, naturally. What would I be doing referencing so much of Homestuck fanmusic’s past if I didn’t say yes to Veri doing the vocals? And what vocals they are.
 
-    W- wait. Why are you leaving so much blank space below the commentary block. Who is that for.
+    W- wait. Why are you leaving <s>so much blank space below</s> *a few pages* after the commentary block. Who is that for.
 
     <i><b style="color: #2ed73a">CALIBORN:</b></i>
     <span style="color: #2ed73a">HI AGAIN, IDIOTS. MISS ME?</span>
@@ -3208,10 +3208,10 @@ Sheet Music Files:
   - 'Stargazing with Gods-Clarinet_in_Eb_2.pdf'
 Commentary: |-
     <i>Joshua Gray:</i>
-    Stargazing with Gods is a Homestuck fanpiece written for a clarinet choir consisting of 2 E♭  clarinets, 4 B♭ clarinets, and 2 bass clarinets. It is meant to depict [[flash:1940|the very end of Act 4]] - Becquerel watches over his sleeping owner, Jade Harley, while gazing off into the night sky. Though the stars are beautiful, in the distance, a number of meteors can be seen that signify the apocalypse, with one particularly large one coming directly for Jade’s home. Ultimately, the piece’s mood is meant to reflect both the horror and beauty of the life cycle of the universe as presented in the webcomic.
+    Stargazing with Gods is a Homestuck fan piece written for a clarinet choir consisting of 2 E♭  clarinets, 4 B♭ clarinets, and 2 bass clarinets. It is meant to depict [[flash:1940|the very end of Act 4]] - Becquerel watches over his sleeping owner, Jade Harley, while gazing off into the night sky. Though the stars are beautiful, in the distance, a number of meteors can be seen that signify the apocalypse, with one particularly large one coming directly for Jade’s home. Ultimately, the piece’s mood is meant to reflect both the horror and beauty of the life cycle of the universe as presented in the webcomic.
 
     <i>Torrent 64:</i>
-    I'm not even sure where to begin. The track gives a very nice sense of both calmness, and the sense of impending doom. I wanted a lot of the art itself to be influencing that serene feeling: The starry night sky, a peacful Jade sleeping, and Bec watching over her. It's only when you follow his gaze past the bright moon you can see the bright meteorites approaching, adding a sense of unease to an otherwise calm picture.
+    I'm not even sure where to begin. The track gives a very nice sense of both calmness, and the sense of impending doom. I wanted a lot of the art itself to be influencing that serene feeling: The starry night sky, a peaceful Jade sleeping, and Bec watching over her. It's only when you follow his gaze past the bright moon you can see the bright meteorites approaching, adding a sense of unease to an otherwise calm picture.
 ---
 Section: Bonus tracks
 ---
@@ -3228,7 +3228,7 @@ Referenced Tracks:
 - track:home
 - Stuck
 Lyrics: |-
-    (VGY was zero, VGZ was plus 0.2, Delta-VC was minus 20.2, orbit 169.1 by 60.5.)
+    (VGY was zero, VGZ was plus 0.2, delta-VC was minus 20.2, orbit 169.1 by 60.5.)
 
     O darling, what have we become?
     Has all been said, has all been done?