[formatted 2021-06-02]

welcome to the internet, where your lack of inspiration will be enhanced by our
content! and other very inspiring, but lacking in results, things to read. too
bad that's your fault though, if you don't do anything after we inspire you to,
we've already done our part, eh? oh, maybe you could make that thing. again.
somebody else already made it but oh well, why not make it yourself? practice,
right? but you already made it before, too. twice. practice though! and maybe
this time it'll be better, easier to use, cleaner, and so on. it's still
something somebody else has made, but if it's better, cool, right? definitely
worth wasting a few hours on!

oh good, it's done, too bad it wasn't actually as nice as you'd expected. it
wasn't that bad, just not as good as it should have been. but probably as good
as it'll realistically be, so that's fine.

art is a fun idea! a good one too. so draw something, start the program, double
that resolution and get started. you even have an idea. so you get started. but
the idea doesn't take as much shape as it should. so you just kind of abandon
the idea, or at least you just don't consciously think as much of it. instead
you draw, maybe use a shape to figure out how it would be slightly easier to
draw something a little similar, and that's what you draw instead.

it works, too! once you're done, you've got a canvas with something drawn and
it isn't bad. it still doesn't look much like you had wanted it to at the
start, though. maybe that's fine, maybe you can just continue with what you
drew anyways, shape the world around that instead of your plan. but you don't
know, and it doesn't seem like it'll be that easy to make something..
consistent. a world that you really designed; instead it's more like something
randomly generated by your head, or your hands, as you drew. being able to put
your ideas on paper, to really form them to be exactly as you want, is probably
a skill that comes with time, though. people have basically created whole
worlds, and surely that didn't come from nowhere; instead, maybe, from
practice. (likely?)

thoughts don't seem to come to a climax, instead they disappear. good thing you
wrote them down in your handy dandy notebook, or else they'd be gone. usually
forever. sometimes you get ideas of things to do. often while having, like, a
bath; or while trying to pretend actually falling asleep. it's easy to not do
those things. just.. don't write them down, say there's not enough time,
pretend you can't. ideally a combination. that's productive, right? because
you're limiting yourself to only do the things that matter to you. except then
you realize, huh, maybe that's not a bad idea after all. and then it's gone.