!title Jadepetasprite^3 !serif !silverbark !narrator Rose ROSE: Alright, greetings have been spread. I'm sure we all have endless inquiries to artillerate, but I feel we should address the elephant on the blanket sooner rather than later. ROXY: elephant? cmon rose she seems more like an awesome werewolf superhero 2 me CALLIOPE: indeed! i do not see a long trUnk nor the hUmongoUs flappy ears that earth's fabled "elephants" bring to thoUght ^u^ JADE: hah! ROSE: ...I was referring to cat!Dave. DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < im actually more bird than cat! Our own house's desecration not suitable for any kind of rendezvous, the five of us have gathered together on a hill some distance from civilization, a bump amidst the dawn-lit wheat field. By Roxy's suggestion and her cherub friend's assistance, we're partaking in a picnic of some sort. Specifically, the sort with apparently long lost friends and feline-turned ectobrothers. The Dave-esque sprite sets down a glass of homemade vegetable juice and grins at me. I'm finding it difficult to keep my eyes facing toward them, and not just for the disconcerting animal fusion they are. Their entire image pulses across the spectrum of citrus colors, fading from one color to the next somewhat like a lava lamp. They raise a single eyebrow at me. DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < first time seeing a squared sprite? B33 Roxy recalls just before, unfortunately, I do as well. ROXY: oooohh wait wait wait ROXY: ur like jasprose!! ROSE: Jasprose. ROSE: Oh for god's sake. DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < hehe i get nya DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < ok rose heres the basic runmeown DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < the davesprite from your medium was floating around one day... They hold up a gloved hand, and then the other. DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < ...and so was nepeta! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < shes a troll you didnt get to know too well before a clown killed her and then spriteified her later DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < well, in time, they happened to get veeeeeeery close to each other DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < one thing led to another and now im here! B33 CALLIOPE: oh! did they actUally- ROXY: :O JADE: pfffhahahaha JADE: seriously depeta The elderly picture of the Jade I grew up alongside elbows her friend playfully. Two hundred years... surely they must have something going on. Is Silverbark truly even the same Jade I used to know? Equal exchange bee-lines to the Green Sun as the sprite floats into her side, smushing their shoulders together. Jade topples over, messy white bangs decorating her face, giggling hysterically. She seems so much happier than I can remember her ever before being. JADE: give em a break!! lol DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < B33 Jade rights herself, facing Calliope next to Roxy and me. JADE: nah callie nothing like that :) JADE: as roxy said! theyre like jasprose JADE: nepetasprite had only been prototyped once, so when she shook hands with davesprite, they got merged together JADE: and that made davepeta here! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < *nod nod* B33 CALLIOPE: oh! i see. CALLIOPE: well, pleased to meet yoU, davepeta! ^u^ DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < lickwise!     JADE: as we were returning i was excited to learn about whats new with you all... JADE: its still so weird that such little time passed for you all while i spent what felt like centuries away! JADE: i guess thats just the way of the furthest ring, heh ROSE: It is quite strange. ROXY: heeeeeeyy rose ROXY: mustard pickle sandwich? I shake my head, grabbing a spice cracker instead. Roxy shrugs and offers the sandwich to Jade, who enthusiastically takes it. JADE: ooh i havent had one of these in FOREVER JADE: thank you! ROXY: ofc :D I look around at everyone. Roxy's offering around a variety of bites from the trays; Calliope is happily sampling cheeses and has been sharing their commentary for the last several minutes; Davepeta is lying down curled on the blanket, listening intently, and Jade is half-leaning on them, wolfing down her sandwich. Everyone is laid back, just... relaxing. I cannot figure out why I'm the only one who seems to have anything serious on mind. I understand the appeal of an ordinary morning picnic, but I... ROXY: hheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy rooooooose ROXY: *boop!* ;) The ectobiological clone of my mother gently pokes my forehead. ROXY: anythin on ur mind roseeee? CALLIOPE: oh! do feel free to speak Up rose, yoU've been a tad qUiet and we want yoU to feel jUst a part of this as any of Us! ROSE: I... _Is_ anything on my mind? Jade looks toward me, attentive. Her glasses, a different pair than when I last saw her, green rimmed and somehow rounder than ever, reflect a miniscule arc of the sun's glare into my eyes. It's been two hundred years for her. Somehow I feel as though the same time has passed for me. I don't understand it. Did Jade miss me?—Did she miss us? Why do I feel like I missed her more than she might've missed me? It's been centuries for her. I saw her this... Okay, it's been a while since we've just been in the same space together. ...Have we ever just _been_ together? I wish Kanaya were here. I don't wish Kanaya were here? This makes no sense. DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < yooo DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < you ok rose? Davepeta is sitting upright now, concerned look on their cattish face. Cats! Hahah. Isn't it curious that both sprites squared I've had the mis/dis/plusfortune of encountering are cats? Ahah! Grand auld Silverbark is looking at me too, much the same way. Them together - beautiful. Absolutely. Ohhh yes I am fine. ROSE: Mmmnnyes. JADE: rose JADE: as one generally may when provided a lot of time and interaction JADE: i have developed an uncanny ability to recognize when my friends are feeling down! JADE: whats up? ROSE: Ffphaha! Um. ROSE: Yes, most understandable. I am most certainly not bullshitting you when I tell you I'm fine, though. ROSE: I'm fine. ROSE: Iiiiiiii'm ROSE: just going to get some space, okay? JADE: alright JADE: i have plenty of that to share To share. Pffffftt. Ahhhahah okay you I we definitely need some space. Space! I need space. JADE: sure :? ROXY: ...uum CALLIOPE: here, dear, woUld yoU like it if i accompanied yoU on a brief stroll away from the others? ROSE: Iii'd think I would rather, actually, ROSE: Yeaah ROSE: Yes please. Thank you, Calliope.     ROSE: I do not know what came over me. I couldn't tell you. We're down the back-side of the hill, walking an oddly curving path through the wheat field. The others likely got back to their meal. ROSE: I hope I'm not troubling them by leaving so abruptly after whatever that was. CALLIOPE: well, they are probably concerned for yoU. i think that is what i woUld expect from friends if i were yoU! CALLIOPE: bUt i doUbt they're too worried, since i'm here to listen to yoU. ROSE: ...Yeah. I lift a dead branch that must've blown onto the path and set it aside, clearing the obstruction. ROSE: It's a little troubling that I can hardly find any words to describe how I felt. Overwhelmed, I suppose, but by what? CALLIOPE: that is the qUestion, indeed. CALLIOPE: i don't sUppose us all ganging Up at helping yoU really amoUnted to mUch Use, did it? ROSE: Well, no. Thank you for helping me out of there. CALLIOPE: of coUrse! :u ROSE: But I'm more concerned with, well. ROSE: What led me to feel so in the first place. ROSE: And whatever that was seems to be escaping my recollection. Callie accelerates a little, putting herself a few paces in front of me. CALLIOPE: yes... as the kids say, life does be like that sometimes. CALLIOPE: bUt i do Understand what you mean. CALLIOPE: coUld it be that yoU felt something UnUsUal, Utterly new in a fashion? ROSE: You could reasonably describe it like so, yes. But isn't that essentially the point we were already at? CALLIOPE: well, yoU see, i am a cherUb. They turn their skeletal head back to look at me, and lag so that we're walking side by side. They're smiling. CALLIOPE: as sUch, throUgh my commUnication with hUmans like my dear friend roxy... CALLIOPE: not infreqUently did i find myself experiencing the strange sensation which accompanies any Unfamiliar emotion! CALLIOPE: i can say i never reacted qUite the same way as yoU today, bUt every person is different. and i am not a hUman myself, after all. ROSE: Mhm. CALLIOPE: i certainly recall, thoUgh, that most times when i felt that in large manner, it was in response to a strong desire within me. one which i had only jUst acknowledged, sUbconscioUsly or not. CALLIOPE: these times were particUlarly interesting to me, becaUse i rather enjoy learning aboUt myself! i woUld always find myself introspecting after, and thinking throUgh what i had foUnd myself wanting so badly. CALLIOPE: in doing so, i discovered, or at least i liked to think, that my own emotions were not as different from those of hUmans as i had sUspected when i began! althoUgh it shoUld be noted that i cannot speak for my brother in this regard. CALLIOPE: so, rose... CALLIOPE: do yoU sUppose yoU may have Uncovered something similarly? ROSE: I... Calliope's stopped walking where they stand, curious for my response. They speak up again before I've finished processing my thoughts. CALLIOPE: oh! sorry for going on a bit of a ramble there! u_u ROSE: It's no trouble. I appreciate it. ROSE: I'm thinking through it. CALLIOPE: of coUrse. bUt don't feel pressUred to actUally tell me anything! CALLIOPE: i am primarily here as company, after all. if yoU would rather think in silence, yoU are absolUtely free to do so. I thank them, but shrug. ROSE: Calliope, has it ever honestly occurred to you that a member of the Strilonde family might choose to shut up about their feelings and free the world of their exhilerating introspectional monologue? CALLIOPE: hehe! i sUppose not, no. ROSE: That said, can I count on you not publicizing my mindscape more than I already do myself? CALLIOPE: of coUrse! i shan't tell a soUl any details of oUr discUssion. ROSE: Alright, thank you. I sigh, and start walking again, still away from the hill. Putting distance from space? There's probably some elegant line that should accompany this thought, but frankly I just appreciate getting further away as I talk, as nonsensical as that is. And the motion lets my mind flow. Calliope follows alongside me. ROSE: It is so peculiar, seeing the girl I grew up alongside suddenly an adult so many years older than I. CALLIOPE: it is, isn't it? :u ROSE: The mechanics of having reached god-tier have always been clear enough to me; immortality is immortality, and our consciousnesses and personalities are effectively unlimited in growth and accumulation, barring hypothetically warranted deaths. ROSE: But I suppose I never fully evaluated the meaning of that, its implications and effects. ROSE: Seeing Jade live hundreds of years of her life within same timespan as my own average morning... shakes that into clarity, somewhat. CALLIOPE: i certainly agree, bUt i'd hesitate to describe that morning as average! ^u^ ROSE: Well, yes. But still. It's approaching noon now. A stray cloud in the otherwise blue sky passes by the sun, shadowing us while the rest of the field remains glowing. ROSE: Seeing her with Davepeta was particularly... remarkable. ROSE: She looked so happy next to them. CALLIOPE: she did! ROSE: I had a conversation with June that day. I came to realize, more consciously than before, that I'd been resigned to the belief that June was essentially fated to always struggle with the depression that struck her, to never escape it or get more from life. ROSE: So, I was quite shocked and confused when she came out to us and... rather suddenly was actually living. ROSE: Suddenly from my own perspective, I mean. June clearly went through a lot before coming out. And... through it still, too. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, yes. ROSE: And I wonder if it's sort of the same with Jade, now? ROSE: Relatively speaking, so much of her life has happened in the same time as an instant for me, and now she's... ROSE: Happy. CALLIOPE: she is! ^u^ ROSE: And, I... I falter as we continue walking forward. I'm not sure what I'm thinking, exactly. The path doesn't show any sign of stopping. ROSE: I feel... bad? ROSE: I don't understand why. CALLIOPE: hm. i wonder... CALLIOPE: if yoU focUs, can yoU determine roUghly what kind of bad yoU're feeling? CALLIOPE: i've found there are many! ROSE: Maybe. I'm not sure. ROSE: ROSE: Jealousy, I suppose? CALLIOPE: oh! of coUrse. do go on! ROSE: I'm not sure how much more there is to say. ROSE: I, ROSE: Okay. ROSE: I think I'm jealous that she gets to be so happy. ROSE: It... seems as though it'd be the same with June, and it is, but less so, for some presumably unfathomable reason. ROSE: I look at Jade and Davepeta - and June with Terezi, slightly - and I... CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: you look at them, and? ROSE: Calliope, I feel like a wreck talking about this! ROSE: I look at Jade and see how happy she is with Davepeta and I, ROSE: I have Kanaya. ROSE: I love Kanaya. ROSE: There's not an ounce of me that doesn't love my wife. ROSE: So why... I consider what I mean to ask carefully. It'd be straightforward, if understandably disgraceful, to let go of these thoughts now, but Calliope and I have been walking-talking for a half hour; I can't just drop it now. There is still progress to be made. ROSE: Why is it that when I look at Jade, I want to share her happiness? ROSE: I've never felt discontent with my own life, but seeing how she and June have changed and grown has planted in my mind the thought that there might be something similar in store for me, if I can only determine and reach out for it. CALLIOPE: hmm. i coUld imagine so! CALLIOPE: yoU know, this soUnds somewhat like thoUghts i woUld have when i was yoUnger, writing stories aboUt roxy and her gang. CALLIOPE: ahem. not to sUggest i do not still do that on occasion. :u CALLIOPE: for me, i foUnd my story ideas most intrigUing when they involved characters going throUgh times of great change. CALLIOPE: i once told a tale of a troll who rebelled against society, escaping the role and dUties that was expected of trolls in her caste. CALLIOPE: i coUld not deny that i was projecting mUch of my sitUation onto her own adventUre. u_u CALLIOPE: i enjoyed writing it, thoUgh. it was a chance, in an otherwise hopeless Upbringing, to have hope that i coUld tUrn oUt alright! CALLIOPE: bUt in time, i realized they were jUst stories. although i am sUre my heart always continUed to hope, i came to conscioUsly accept that i was plainly Unfated for a happy ending. it was the only rational expectation, as long as i was chained to my obstinate brother. CALLIOPE: it was becaUse of so many others' selfless words and actions that i broke away from these boUnds and learned how i coUld trUly live! CALLIOPE: bUt enough prattle on myself. ^u^ CALLIOPE: rose, i am happy to be able to see yoU are not in nearly as dire of a sitUation as i Used to be. CALLIOPE: bUt i have seen from every one of yoU, and even myself, that life is a very complex thing. CALLIOPE: i do not think yoU shoUld shUt away qUestions and ideas on how yoUr life coUld improve. that woUld mean stifling and being content with the world as it is. CALLIOPE: as yoU might gUess, i think qUite the opposite! i gather from yoUr feelings that there may be something which is missing from yoUr life. CALLIOPE: i wholeheartedly encoUrage yoU to seek this oUt! think it throUgh and pUrsUe whatever yoU feel is calling yoU. CALLIOPE: responsibly, of coUrse, bUt enthUsiastically too. only throUgh thoUght and action can yoU discover and fill what yoU are missing. !- ROSE: Oh god. ROSE: Calliope. CALLIOPE: yes? :u ROSE: Calliope, please forget I said any of this. ROSE: I don't know where it came from. CALLIOPE: i doUbt i have any means to Utterly forget at the snap of a claw like that u_u CALLIOPE: bUt i Understand. CALLIOPE: i shall not bring it Up. ROSE: ...Thank you. -! As I shut off that direction for my train of thought, I slow our walking down too. ROSE: We've been walking for a while, and... my mind's clearer now, somewhat. ROSE: Let's head back. It's still a trek to the hill. CALLIOPE: alrighty! :u