-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 15:12 -- GG: dave!!! GG: ahh dave please repsond :( GG: ...... -- turntechGodhead [TG] is now an idle chum! -- GG: noooo GG: whyy dave -- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 15:18 -- GG: rose! GG: rose, rose, rose, rose GG: rose please tell me youre here GG: ..aughhghghhhh TT: Hello. GG: ah!!! TT: Is something the matter? You're clearly messaging me quite urgently. TT: Urgently, meaning "at all". Long time no hear. How have you been? GG: ughh GG: really really bad TT: Apologies. GG: what no! you dont have anything to do with this! TT: I see. I'm glad to know I at least suffice as an acceptable, if begrudged backup when no one else is online to consult. GG: rooose GG: blarghgh -- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 15:22 -- -- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ghostyTrickster [GT] at 15:25 -- GG: johnnn GG: please come online GG: im going to count down ok? GG: 5 GG: 4 GG: 3 GG: 2 GG: ... GG: 1 GG: poof! GG: sigh GG: of course that wouldnt work :/ -- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 15:27 -- TT: Sorry. TT: Seriously. What's the matter? GG: hii GG: its okay GG: blahhhh TT: ...Yeah. I'll listen, alright? GG: blarg!!! GG: rose i have no idea what to do TT: What's the situation? GG: um GG: my grandpa was having a picnic GG: annnd i was playing with his toy guns TT: Ok. GG: i clicked the button and it made a really loud bang!!! GG: my ears are still kinda sore... TT: Oh dear. TT: Does there happen to be an otorhinolarygologist on your island? GG: what :/ TT: A hearing doctor. GG: no of course there isnt!! GG: but thats really not the problem my ears are fine TT: Oh. Sorry. Go on. GG: blraglhlgj GG: it made me really scared... GG: so i looked for grandpa GG: and GG: i found him TT: ... TT: Did he help you feel better? TT: Jade? GG: no GG: he really really didnt GG: he couldnt TT: Why not? GG: because GG: uh TT: ? GG: rose GG: he died GG: rose? GG: hello? TT: Hi. TT: Um. TT: That's... TT: I'm sorry. I can hardly begin to imagine what that must feel like. TT: To you. GG: it mostly feels bad :/ TT: I, yes. TT: I'm sorry. TT: ... TT: Are you sure he's... how do you know? GG: rose i have no idea how it happened GG: but you cant survive getting shot in the heart GG: hes gone TT: ...Okay. I'm sorry. TT: Where are you now? GG: in my room... GG: bec has me locked in i think :| TT: Your dog can do that? GG: he can do a lot of things TT: Naturally. TT: Well. TT: ...Can he bury him your grandpa? GG: oh gosh GG: the corpse GG: rose i havent been able to teach him how to bury a bone GG: he is not very smart and just a dog GG: im going to have to deal with it myself GG: ughhghhhhh this is terrible TT: Yeah. TT: ... TT: Jade. GG: yeah? TT: Are you s... TT: Nevermind. GG: huh? TT: Sorry. TT: For being a moderately terrible friend. TT: Moderately, meaning "extraordinarily". GG: what? no... TT: I don't know how to be a good comfort. TT: Probably not by blathering about myself, I guess. TT: Thank you for putting up with all of me. GG: i GG: huh??? TT: You're very good. TT: I'm going to be idle now... TT: Back in a few minutes, ok? GG: umm GG: thank you? GG: alright see you TT: See you. -- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 15:35 -- -- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at 15:37 -- GA: Hello The Jade Human GG: uh GG: hi?? GA: Hi GG: how do you know my name? :/ GA: Oh GA: Just A Lucky Guess That Was Also Informed By The Self Appointed Head Commander Of Earth Human Trolling GA: Please Feel Free To Direct Any Name Related Inquiries To His Handle GA: Carcino Geneticist GG: nooo he never stops shouting GA: That Is True GA: Also His Policy On Alien Communication As Far As I Have Gathered Is That No Aliens Are To Initiate Connections GA: Which Frankly He Cant Actually Enforce But He Does A Good Enough Job With His Temper Alone GA: I Will Leave A Note On The Strictly Formatted And Permanently Archived Status Report Asking About How He Came To Learn Your Name GA: And Get Back To You In A Timely Manner GA: Id Est Immediately GG: what... -- grimAuxilatrix [GA] ceased trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at 15:40 -- -- grimAuxilatrix [GA] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at 15:41 -- GG: he knows because i told him... GA: He Says He Knows Because You Told Him GA: Oh GA: Yes That Does Seem To Be The Agreed Upon Undertable Tile Missing From This Serrated Blade Puzzle Before Now GA: Anyway GA: Human Fear Us Your All Powerful And Omniscient Earth Religious Figures Etc Etc GA: Can We Proceed To The Part Where You Scream In Terror At The Stunning Revelation That We Are The Source Of All Your Problems Without Having To Go Through All The Details Please GA: Thats All I Need For This Report GG: aaghhhhhhhghgh!!!!!!!!!!!! GA: That Will Suffice GG: you are all just dumb trolls who just cant let me get any peace even when im upset!! GG: leave me alone!!!!! GA: I Cannot Claim Your Description To Be Inaccurate And Yes That Is The Plan GA: Thank You For Your Cooperation In Making This As Human Earth Heterosexually Facing As Possible GA: Goodbye -- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at 15:45 -- -- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 15:47 -- GG: rooose? GG: its been a while GG: hello? -- tentacleTherapist [TT] is now an idle chum! -- GG: yeahhh :| -- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at 15:50 -- GA: Actually GG: jdfsnnhhh go awayy GA: Well Yes Im Going To GA: But I Left Kind Of Abruptly GA: Efficiently Yes But Perhaps Not Very Tactfully GA: Is Something The Matter GG: whattt :\ GG: yes you trolls are the matter GA: I Know I Have Been Informed That We Matter Literally Infinitely More So Than You Aliens GA: But I Still Have To Wonder GA: Was Something The Matter Preceding My Trolling You GG: grrrrrr GG: whats the matter is my GRANDPA DIED!!!!!!!!!! GG: now STOP talking to me!!! -- gardenGnostic [GG] blocked grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 15:53 -- -- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at 15:54 -- CA: yeah wwhatEVVER kan CA: let it be on the record that youre givin this back in under five minutes CA: or CA: else CA: Eridan I Am Literally Standing Over You CA: Thank You CA: Sorry CA: That Feature Doesnt Actually Do Anything Permanently But I Cant Be Bothered To Reinstall Trollian So Here We Are GG: bluhhh CA: Im Sorry To Hear That CA: Your Human Ancestors Death I Mean CA: Your Bluhs Are Somewhat Appropriate With Our Reputation But They Do Not Faze Me CA: It Sounds Like He Was Quite Important To You In A Comparable Way As My Lusus Was To Me CA: So I Can Relate And Im Sorry You Have To Experience This Pain CA: It Really Human Sucks GG: ...... CA: Although I Wasnt Quite As Young As You Now When She Passed CA: And I Guess Your Grandpa Is Gone Forever CA: So CA: Im Not Sure Its Really The Same CA: Now Youll Have To Grow Up Without Him And From A Rather Infantile Age Indeed CA: This Is Really A Lot Worse For You Than That Was For Me CA: Im Sorry GG: "kan"... GG: thank you i guess?? GG: uhhhh GG: thats kinda scary to think about though GG: please dont message me again CA: Okay Sorry CA: Its Kanaya CA: I Wontdfskljdwwerju CA: Ive Got To Give This Back Anyway CA: Apologies GG: sighhhh :I GG: thank you kanaya -- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased being trolled by caligulusAquarium [CA] at 15:59 -- -- tentacleTherapist [TT] is no longer an idle chum! -- TT: Hi. Sorry for the wait. GG: hi rose!! GG: augh trolls wouldnt stop bugging me theyre the worst TT: So I've gathered. TT: I, um, went searching for a book. TT: We have to do something with the body, Jade. GG: uhh GG: yeaah? TT: It took some scouring and a stealth mission through Mom's room, but I believe I've found the title of use here. TT: "Teach Yourself Taxidermy, I Guess." By world renowned adventurer Jake Aich. A favorite author in this household. GG: oh!! GG: actually i have that book TT: Really? GG: yeah! my grandpa picked it out for me to practice reading a couple weeks ago TT: ... TT: Ok. TT: Well, good. You probably have this all under control, then. GG: yeaaah... GG: better get started on that soon GG: if bec will let me out :/ TT: Here's hoping.