> Enter name. This is entirely unnecessary! You already did so two years ago to this day. Your name is ALERIA DODDLES. You remember thinking your name was FUN and HILARIOUS. You still agree with this sentiment, but now you recognize there is also a touch of IRONY in your choice identifier. You still think it's an awesome name, though. > Aleria: Examine calendar. You observe the brown-tinted calendar hanging from a thumbtack in your door. The ever-passing days of the month are elegantly arranged into a grid pattern. You suddenly realize it would be OVERWHELMINGLY SUPERFLUOUS to even spend a word more on the grid's exposition. You smoothly SEGUE to a topic barely more interesting by recognizing how the functionality of this grid has not been affected in the slightest by the STAIN all over it. Your calendar took its place here months ago, not long after narrowly failing to evade an incident involving a particular ACCURSED WARM BEVERAGE. > Aleria: Examine date. You escape your entrancement in the proportionally graceful sorting of numbered squares, which really DO NOT DESERVE the faded tarnish upon them, and consciously acknowledge the picture of an e'er-courageous wanderer, set out on one of countless unique journeys through the tangled jungles of COMPASSION, FRIENDSHIP, and TRUTH. Brown-tinted beyond even its natural VINTAGE rendition, but you digress. This figure is an icon in your eyes, both personally and literally. But they are not your date, oh no. You have no date. And you are absolutely, perfectly content with that. > Aleria: Wrench gaze and carefully determine index of current moment. Oh. You wonder how you get by claiming not to be oblivious to the intents and emotions of literally every other person, in this world or out. It is a RELENTLESS LIE, and you are aware of this, but you choose not to let it GET TO YOU. Every day. Speaking of which, your brief of self-reflection (among many) RELEASES HOLD for now, and you wrench your gaze back to the calendar grid to carefully determine the index of the current moment. The absent-minded dismissal shall go no further. > Aleria: Proceed. To your surprise, it is the YEAR 2084. You sigh. You are not actually surprised by this revelation, and nobody else is, either. What piques your interest is the DAY OF THE MONTH February 29th. Not only is today a rare LEAP-DAY, it is also, as signified by the greenish teal party popper marked in the square, your BIRTH-DAY. It is so hard to explain that you were brought into the world on a leap day. Due to this fact, nobody agrees on whether to congratulate your presence on the last day of February or the first day of March. Luckily, there are obvious compromises to draw. Years in the past, BOTH MONTH-ENDS were celebrated. Nowadays, NEITHER is. > Aleria: Cheer up. You pause and take a breath. Having recomposed yourself, you assess the situation of your present moment. It is, indeed, February 29th. And despite everything, you have not once neglected some form of celebration upon a February 29th. Today will not be the day when that changes. You inhale deeply, as though to make an exclamation, though it is purely in your head. You are ALERIA DODDLES. It is your 16TH BIRTHDAY. Despite your status as a "DECIDEDLY NOT CONNOISSEUR" of the culture, you are ripe and ready to become an ANIME HERO. Heck yeah! > Aleria: Retrieve birthday cake. What?? You are really not the sort to RETRIEVE a birthday cake. While you don't take any issue with people who are, there's a certain joy to creating a celebratory delicacy from the ground up (maybe not so literally). You'd never miss out on it. But besides, you aren't making a cake! Not this year, no! For today, you've got something else in mind. > Aleria: Reveal cunning plan. It is your 16th birthday and you are going to bake CUPCAKES!!!!! > Aleria: Heck yeah! ...No. The CUPCAKES have not been made yet. The flour must be measured. The batter must be concocted. The foil must be arranged, and the oven must be pre-heated. It is hardly time for "heck yeah" yet. > ..? You let out a quiet "yay!" though. If there is one thing (and there may only be) that gets you enthusiastic about doing stuff, it is baking! You dismiss that totally subtle thought because you are excited about CUPCAKES. It's not true anyway. > Aleria: Escapade. You peruse the options available. You have to gather and combine the INGREDIENTS, of course. These are likely to be in the KITCHEN. But how will you get there? > Aleria: Rappel out of window. That is a bonkers idea!! You have no idea how to rappel, not to mention the fact that you never owned one in the first place! > Aleria: Chainsaw. Now. Utterly bonkers. C'mon, try to be *somewhat* sensible. > Aleria: Gracefully leave through door. Ok! You plunge your entire self deep through your ridiculous assortment of COMFY PASTEL DRESSES. Of course there's a secret staircase behind your CLOSET DOOR. > Aleria: Descend. You squeeze yourself out of one of several ground-cabinet doors. Success! Your escapade was an overwhelming victory, if a little pointless. It's not like you were trying to avoid an encounter of any sort; your SISTER is out of the house right now, after all. Not that you'd be likely to run into her, even if she were home. > Aleria: Examine surroundings. You're in your kitchen! You love this place. There's loads of COUNTER SPACE for whatever crazy thing you tend to be thinking up. Your GIGANTIC WINDOW lets in gracious light year-round, and shares the excellent foodstuff aromas in exchange for the fresh, early spring breeze presently. An assortment of convenient utensils hangs from a wooden WALL RACK a friend made for you a few years ago. This is the kitchen you've grown in for the better part of your life. It's not really fancy, and plenty of the stuff here shows stains, dents, and chips from years of wear. But it's your kitchen, and it feels like home. (It's also literally home, yes.) You love it. > Aleria: Get this show on the road! Whaaat? What show? While you like to imagine it, you must admit that you simply are not an ANIME HERO. ...Or rather, an ANIME HEROINE? Hrmph. You do not have the capacity to think about this right now. You are, after all, about to bake CUPCAKES. > Aleria: Bake cupcakes. Conducting an epic ANIME MONTAGE is impossible because your life is not an ANIME. But you are still perfectly capable of imagining it is. ...There's still no ANIME MONTAGE, though. Oh well. > Aleria: Review process. Though you'd like to one day, you do not know by heart how to create CUPCAKES. You grab THE PRACTICAL COLLECTION OF PASTRIES AND CAKES. You have no idea where you got this; the colossal tome just ended up in your bookchest one day, and you've been seriously into baking ever since. You swear this book covers the procedures on literally every type of cake ever created, and probably all the ones that ever will be created, too. You flip through the pages - here, this is it! "CAKES, CUP." > Aleria: Gather ingredients. Flour. Sugar. Baking powder. Salt. Vanilla extract. Butter. Eggs. Milk. With the power of all eight BASIC INGREDIENTS at your fingertips, you are truly the CUPCAKEVATAR. You arrange the ingredients neatly and place a slightly stale dish of pecans and walnuts, plus a small jar of honey, alongside them. You aren't planning on making anything fancy, but every CUPCAKE deserves some GARNISH. > Aleria: Mix the things!! You measure out the right quantities for each of the dry and wet ingredients into their separate bowls, stirring and whisking until they're all combined. You remember, back when you did more baking with your SISTER, you would always ask to do the mixing. It was your favorite part of any recipe, but you've never been exactly sure why. You *always* got tired by the time you got everything solutionified together, but you were up to the task! Phew. Done. You guess that contradiction hasn't really changed. > Aleria: Batterify homogenous mixtures. You carefully dump a portion of the flour mixture into the wet solution, then gently fold it together. You repeat that a few times, eventually getting everything combined into a single, complete BATTER. Getting there... > Aleria: Arrange and fill cupcake tins. You lay the little cupcake foils out across your 12-slot tray, then pour the batter into each one. There's leftover batter, but you know better than to try to fill them more than some three quarters whole. The one time you did try altogether improvising a cupcake recipe, you'd seen there wasn't THAT much extra batter. You tried fitting it into the cupcakes evenly, and you did end up using it all; but as you carried it over to the oven, your poor twelve-year-old arms wobbled ever so slightly, and the batter ended up sliding over the edge of the foil, and then the pan. That was a mess you don't care to reenact. Speaking of which, you're finally set! Now it's really about to happen... > Aleria: Bake cupcakes. Yes!!! After a perilous journey over the TERRIBLE and EXPANSIVE FIELDS OF BAKING oh what are you even talking about you literally enjoy baking and do it basically thrice a week out of your own passion. Anyway! You are here! Now!! You whip around, right set to cook your AWESOME BIRTHDAY CUPCAKES, and... oh. Whelp. You didn't preheat the oven. Gosh darn it. > Aleria: Post-pre-heat oven. You set the oven to the right heat, but it's going to be a while before it's actually ready to bake anything. > Aleria: Retrieve social time kill device. Sure, but you left it upstairs, and you sure as heck aren't going to take your closet's staircase back! Squishing back through the cabinet makes you look really dumb. You know nobody's watching, but... still. You just tend to think of it as a ONE-WAY SHORTCUT. > Aleria: Exit kitchen. That is indeed the alternate option. You dash into the hallway and trip on something because you are a big KLUTZ. It is... a SPARE COLLAR. These have been all over lately, so you really should've expected it. > Aleria: Disregard acrobatic blunder and make haste! What acrobatic blunder? You reach the end of the hallway and are presented with the NORMAL STAIRCASE. > Aleria: Ascend. You are uneventfully elevated to your house's SECOND FLOOR. You're in another hallway, directly above the one downstairs; in fact, the room layout of downstairs is perfectly identical to that up here. > Aleria: Observe painting. That's not a painting, it's a window!!! You peek inside at the GARDEN. There's a considerable array of flowers and vegetables neatly placed throughout the room. This is mostly a project of your SISTER's, but you occasionally help her water the plants. It's a nice little place. > Aleria: Enter Upstairs Kitchen. You enter your BEDROOM. You keep your portable vehicle of communication nestled between a few towels and pillowcases when you aren't using it. You know your treatment is otherwise very normal for its sort of thing, but.. you feel obligated to balance that anyway. > Aleria: Take cross-continental discussion doodad. You gently remove the device's blanketing and lift it up with both hands. You wouldn't want to drop it; you've had it for several years and are quite attached to it! Both physically and literally. > Aleria: Downstairs!! Check status of house fire!! You're.. preheating the oven, though? You don't think anyone's ever set their house on fire by preheating an oven. It's only been, like, two minutes anyway. Your house is definitely not on fire. Anyway, you wouldn't go through your CLOSET DOOR right now. Between the crowded wardrobe contents, the apparent lack of a railing, and the slightly too steep steps, you'd never try carrying anything fragile through there. > Aleria: Jump and stomp convenient hole in kitchen ceiling. No. The paired-hallway stairs work just fine. > Aleria: Assess postpreheatedness. It's still not done! Seriously, it takes more than a couple minutes to heat that thing. Don't worry, you'll know when it's ready. > Aleria: Set down and activate rectangular relayifier. Ah, yes. Your SLAPTOP. Truly an innovation of the century. Too bad it's not available to the masses yet - this is a weird mod a friend suggested and made for you some time ago. Sometimes you wonder if everyone around you is really weird, but then, it does make everyone kind of awesome. > Aleria: Slap! Slap! The surface of the thing presses down ever so slightly, then flips right open along its hinge. Yup. Really your favorite thing ever, if you think about it. Waking it up used to sting you a little, but you've long been used to it by now. You are presented with your device's desktop space. It's mostly empty - a WEB BROWSER and a CHAT CLIENT are the only two programs at hand, alongside a folder conspiciously named "DESKTOP STUFF". > Aleria: Open PALCONVERSE. Sure. Let's see what's up with your PALS. > Aleria: Converse with pal. -- backspaceExplorista [BE] began conversing with gyratoryIntellect [GI] at 11:34 -- BE: Hiiiii! GI: ermg hiya!! GI: what's up?! :D BE: Eeeh BE: Not aaall that much- BE: I'm working on cookin' some cupcakes but.. GI: ohh!! my gosh!! right! GI: hey happy birthday aleria!!!! .D. BE: Oh thank you!! GI: course!!! GI: yer really old now yeah?? BE: Yeah..! I'm 16 - y'know what that means?! GI: ohh of course... GI: you're... GI: ripe n ready to be an anime hero!!!! BE: Yeeeess..! GI: that's awesome!! GI: ooh right GI: i interrupted ya didn't i?? BE: Oh not really! BE: Yeah so, I go to bake my cupcakes, right? GI: mhm! BE: Except.. I apparently forgot to preheat the oven! GI: :O GI: dang!! BE: Yeeeps. I'm waitin' on that now. BE: But what's new with you!? GI: oh.. well hehe.. GI: um, i ended up.. GI: taking my first ever art request!! BE: Ooh nice! GI: yeah but.. GI: well i'm realizing.. GI: i'm still kind of bad at drawing o_o; BE: Um?? False?? BE: Everything you show me is super neat y'know!! GI: ehe thank you (: GI: but i mean! GI: i'm still rly slow at art... GI: i have a lot of trouble getting my ideas outta my head!! BE: Oh..? GI: yeah like GI: they asked me to draw their oc however i wanted GI: which gives a lotta freedom! i appreciate that GI: i came up with this idea for what i wanted to draw.. GI: but.. i mean i have a lot of trouble! GI: with making it look right! BE: Yeah I think I know whatcha mean.. GI: nyrrr... GI: in the end i decided i wanted to draw something else with their oc GI: i decided maybe the thing i was thinking of drawing before.. GI: wasn't as cool of a concept as i wanted! GI: so i thought up something else and i've been trying to draw that GI: but i just can't get it drawn right for some reason!! BE: Oh, huh.. BE: I don't know a ton about drawing- BE: I know you're really good at art though! BE: Ehm, what're you having trouble with in particular? GI: thnx GI: i can't get the basic outline right!! GI: it always ends up looking not much like their oc i think GI: idk maybe i'm being too critical of myself buut GI: hrmf! GI: i've been trying but i'm not getting anywhere! GI: nyrh You hear a subtle clicking sound from the kitchen room. BE: Oh gosh um.. BE: Dangit, brb! BE: My oven's done preheating, gotta get my cupcakes in there..! GI: oh nw! > Aleria: Bake cupcakes. Yes, yes, you've got that under control! For real now! You open the oven and set the cupcake pan gently inside, careful not to shake much. Then you close it and set a timer - some 20 minutes, this recipe says the baking will take. You delay a moment before heading back to your computer. You.. aren't really sure how you can help your friend. You've been meaning to take a hand at art for a while, but you definitely don't have the experience to give any advice in that department yet. And, well, nobody's ever really asked you to make anything for them before. You guess you can try to be supportive at least, though. Hrm. > Aleria: Respond. BE: Back! GI: hiyaa BE: So.. hmm. BE: Are they.. counting on you? BE: To draw them art I mean. GI: naah i guess not BE: Ok! I think they really shouldn't be anyway! BE: After all, you're pretty new to requests and stuff. GI: true! BE: I think they probably don't want to cause you any stress or whatever either, y'know. BE: They're probs just curious what their character would look like in your style! BE: So... BE: I think they'd totally understand if you decide not to draw it. BE: It's basically free art ya know, and you're new to it! GI: yeeaaaahhhh... GI: thing is though GI: idk, i kinda rly wanna do this anyway? GI: i'm having trouble but i wanna make this into a learning xperience! GI: i think i might not forgive myself if i just decided to stop trying GI: well, if i did right now, anyway BE: Ohh yeah I hear you.. GI: but!! GI: thanks for pointing that out anyway! GI: iiiiiiiiiii'll figure this out sooomehow BE: Mm. BE: Well sure! Just remember ye're not obligated or anything, yeah? GI: yeah! GI: thankya for listeningz GI: sry i kinda sidetracked your awesome birthday stuff with this!!! GI: anywho.. GI: i guess i'll keep tryin' to figure it out then!! .D.; BE: Okie! No problem, don't worry about it!! GI: :D GI: seeyaazz! BE: Seeya! -- gyratoryIntellect [GI] ceased conversing with backspaceExplorista [BE] at 11:55 -- > Aleria: Self-reflect. Erk. You feel you haven't really helped the way you wanted to, but.. oh well. At least she got to talk stuff through and seems motivated enough to get back to working on it. You hope she won't push herself too hard, but you guess you've said what you could. > Aleria: Ponder more! There's still like five minutes left before the cupcakes are done baking, so hey, why not? Your friend said you're set to be an ANIME HERO - it's a joke you've both kept up for a while (it'll be a few months before she reaches that title herself). You guess the word "hero" doesn't REALLY imply anything, but it's been getting you wondering about stuff. Does it make sense that you've found yourself automatically thinking "anime heroine" in whenever you hear that phrase? If you're honest, you aren't really sure it means anything. But you haven't quite ruled all those questions out yet. > Aleria: Jump three feet out of chair. Oh, what??? It's already been five minutes?! Thanks, timer!! > Aleria: Retrieve cupcakes! Yees!! Finally! You open up the oven and are greeted with a blast of heat -- as well as a perfect, gentle cake aroma alongside it. You equip your HEAT DEABSORBERS and pull the tray up and onto the stovetop... they're beautiful! > Aleria: Heck yeah! HECK! YEAH! > Aleria: Now what? You've finished making your cupcakes for the moment - you'll add the honey and nuts once they've cooled, but that'll be a while from now. So, what else should you do today? Perhaps something... BIRTHDAY-ish? > Ring! Well, that decides that. Sounds like someone's CONVERSING with you. You'd better go check - you don't want them to have to hold a ONE-SIDED CONVERSATION! > Aleria: Converse. -- glidedCarnelian [GC] began conversing with backspaceExplorista [BE] at 12:04 -- GC: HI GC: HAP B!RF!!!! GC: H$Y H$Y H$Y SUP!!! GC: %MG GC: FRND H$P B!RFFFFF "It is so hard to read this typing style," one may think. One would be correct. Luckily, you are long used to it, so this really poses no imaginable trouble whatsoever. GC: Y0O0O0O0 GC: H#YYYYY!!! GC: H*WOOO GC: OOOOOOOOOO GC: OH HI %MG. BE: Hi!!! BE: Hiya!!! BE: Thanks!!! :D GC: HCK!N GC: Y&AH!!! BE: Yess!! GC: \OD0/ GC: SN#FFFF GC: HNSG OO~OH GC: CPC$KES????!! Somehow, GC is apparently capable of smelling directly through PALCONVERSE, irregardless of distance from you. Or something. You honestly have no idea how it works, but you're well past questioning: it is decidedly Just An Awesome Thing. BE: Mhm!! Fresh outta the oven! GC: N0MCH GC: N0$$MCH!!! GC: SO GC: G0O0O0O0OD!! BE: Yay thanks!!! :D GC: SN$RK GC: OOH GC: H0N3Y?!?!? BE: For garnish with some nuts, yeah! BE: They're still too hot to add that right now though! GC: SOON... GC: N%%%%MCH~~ BE: :D BE: What's new with you?! GC: &HHH GC: SAU$&GE ^0DO~ GC: U/\/\M GC: L0ST A CR&Y!N /VUV\ Sausage? ...Crayon. Honestly, your thoughts get a little jumbled up when you talk with your friend. But you don't mind. BE: Oh no..! BE: Which color? :( GC: !,,,, GC: CARN$L!&N BE: Eep!!! Did you check with the cooking utensils? GC: D!HH 0F C%RS# \OV0/ GC: W$SNT TH#R!!!!! GC: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GC: RLY N3#D IT!! GC: NG$HH GC: 0K 0K 0K GC: F1GRD TH!S 0UT. BE: You got a... BE: Substitute solution?!?! :D GC: Y#&&A&A&&AH!!!! GC: %K GC: TH!SLL B$ AW1SM0ME BE: Oh!? GC: Y#P!!!!!!!!!! GC: SEE#E-U S00N \%D%/ -- gildedCarnelian [GC] ceased pestering backspaceExplorista [BE] at 12:34 -- > Aleria. Whoa! What? Yes. Awesome. Yup, you're back in the roll of things. Hello again, BRAIN! > Aleria: Acknowledge time. Oh gosh, that CONVO lasted a full half hour? You realize that is indeed the case, to your surprise. Not dismay, though: this is the perfect opportunity to... > Aleria: Release cupcakes from pan! You lift yourself up, still sort of readjusting to the notion of your consciousness being part of the physical space and not entirely contained in... whatever that was, and stroll over to the other end of the counter. Behold: CUPCAKES. You gently pull out each one - they're still a little warm to the touch, but not hot - laying them aside on a conveniently positioned plate that you neglected to be aware of earlier. They juuuuust all fit without having to be stacked! Very covenient. > Aleria: Coat with honey and apply assorted nut mixture. You COAT the CUPCAKES with HONEY, spooning on a generous layer of pecans and walnuts from the tray that you WERE aware of earlier, thank yourself very much. With everything combined as should be now, the cupcake aroma is rather full, complete now! You can imagine what it must smell like to GC now. > Aleria: Tasty? N%MCH. ...But alas. The temptation must be held at bay. There are yet other things that you must do before you could respectfully eat your BIRTHDAY DESSERT!