- back
But it's also so foreign. This isn't how sex is supposed to work, is it? The wiring inside me feels unnatural only because she's here, and I see her, somehow without it. Otherwise... wouldn't this just be... how everyone feels...?
You can't just try out something new. Not in sex! There has to be... this preamble... no, no, more than there was, there has to be days of boundary setting, of safeword communication, of limit setting and aftercare prep and, and, and...
I'm not kidding myself. I don't really believe it, not when I lay it out, you know? That's not even where I come from. I'm only here because I decided to be. I took a shot, and it wasn't a miss. What's so different about sex?
But I'm still left in awe - in wonder. How come she's so free? I can believe it's because she's an animal - her specific animal, maybe. I can even believe it's because she's just herself. Nothing chains her. But I want to believe... that that's just the default. She is who she is because she isn't like me.