Late at night...

We's be draweeng the transgender + autistic burnout feels </3 <3

The next morning.

UGHHHHHHHHH
THATS SO SAD BUT ALSO SO SWEET

THAAAANKS YEAH
it helped me get to sleep so thats mainly what counts ghdfjjss

Ooo nice

in our stories tangle has a mostly afab-ish body... i use those qualifiers cuz in truth i really like the idea of a tangle who wasn't assigned a gender at birth, and at a really young age made the decision for herself that yeah "girl" seems more for her!! (our tangle lore also has her moving into spiral hill at a young age, so let's say she moves + meets jewel when she's 5, and decides on a girl identity when she's 4 or 4 and a half)

Ic ic!!! Yeah i can imagine that

the thingy is that she was super young when she made that call for herself, and at that point she didn't understand a whole lot of anything about how bodies or growing up works... a lot of puberty/maturing is like, "ungh oh god my body is changing and it's changing in the ways that everyone says is normal for a girl, which is what i said i am, but but it doesnt feel normal it feels terrifying and i dont know that its ever gonna feel right like they say it will....."

she has a lot of thoughts about, did she make the right call? she knows she MADE that decision for perfectly rational tiny-kid reasons, and it's not like deciding differently would have changed what she's going through now, but...? and she feels upset that she sort of, completely by accident, trapped herself into a gender where she's supposed to just Be Okay with this

:(
Thats really interesting thiugh!!!

heehee i promise im bringing it somewhere too, one sec

so anyway, the story context for this drawing is that in a current day-and-age w/ whisper, she almost always wears a binder. (she's considered top surgery but hasn't settled on deciding that yet.) it helps a lot with her feeling OK with her body, and ofc w/ whisper she's managed to start healing internalized shame over her general form + bits + voice. but it also just puts a constant passive slight strain on her body... so rn, since she's really just fighting to cope through a bout of autistic burnout, she needs to subtract that chronic straining stimulation, she needs to feel like nothing is expecting anything from her, so she's taken the binder off

and that's like yeah it DOES leave her feeling freer, but a huge huge part of actively going thru that kind of burnout (or really most burnout lmao) is feeling untethered, like, you can't trust in things you thought you were responsible for, you've become blind to finding any kind of personal anchor. and that's just an experience that terrifies tangle a LOT, and unfortunately one she still finds herself going thru once in a while

like the way that taking off her binder untethers her (in that moment) is that

1) obviously she normally wears it, so it's just different from how her body normally feels, but

2) a lot of her identity and very fragile comfort in herself is built up through the acceptance that she DOES get to make her own choices, that she's in lesbian love with whisper because that means something to her, and rn she literally doesn't know if she feels connected at all to her choices to "be a girl" or "be in lesbian love" or "wear a binder", and

3) her body literally feels freer and relieved of stress when she takes it off, and it just makes her like... sort of sad for it, and really scared of what it means about her identity (it doesn't directly mean anything! but rn, she doesn't have any weight to help her feel like anything does or doesn't mean anything!)

AUGH

ANYWAY YEAH UM SO

the thing with Whisper is that she.    well she has an extremely different body and experience of gender and identity, so on the really fine details, of course she can't exactly relate. and she doesn't generally go thru the same sort of burnout (she does have problems to do w/ being neurodivergent lmao, but they express in very different ways inside of her, y'know)

however

she really, really, really, really likes tangle. like a Lot. and she likes her exactly however she wants herself to be. and whisper also has... you know, experience being there for her, when she goes thru times like this!! it's like

on the LEAST fine grain, whisper knows that tangle is experiencing instability in her identity, in her sense of self and, in confidence that anything is gonna turn out okay. and that is definitely a sentiment that whisper understands (think: losing all her friends, the ones who validated her and made "whisper" into a real name for her, and then shedding that mantle, just becoming no one. and tons and tons of bad memories and strife over that particular experience, not knowing if things would ever be okay enough for her to trust in forming a bond with anyone again, etc etc) [See also: cormoranthine, by no one's name]

and thru connecting with her over that experience whisper's been able to like.... find ways to provide affection and care that she wishes someone could have given to her (to whisper herself), and combine that with her understanding of tangle's own fears and conflict to tailor that care just for her

I dont think i really have any specific comment to make about this but thats really interesting and cool

THATS COOL i appreciate u saying it!!

Love hearing yall talk about these things cause you always have really interesting perspectives!!!

i mostly wanted to infodump a teeensy bit about how we read their connection lmfao

so im really glad yeah!! you like hearing about it!! thanx ✨

After getting OK's to talk this sort of subject matter, Tangle shared her messages with another friend.

AAAAAAAAOUGHHGG
yeahyeahyeahyeah so many times yeah imagine I’m the little miiverse or whatever yeah react thing

so fuckig. the wasn’t assigned anything at birth and made the choice but isn’t sure yeahyehayeahyeahy

idk like im girl was born a girl but I think it’s a common lesbian experience to experience uncertainty with that really

Like am I even a girl or is that just what I’ve been told I am???do I even want to be one???? and often just Choosing to be one (or not) bc there’s just a disconnect to it

and it makes a lot of sense for tangle to experience some gender and identity fuckery I think yeah? Cuz like. She’s already not really presenting as a Girl in that sense (though she is conforming to girl norms in universe (wearing pants for example) and like. just how she is as a character

Like a lot of the Girl sonic characters have so many traditionally Girl traits meanwhile tangle is just kinda??tangle

and whisper trying to connect with her and bring her comfort and support augh

idk i won’t ever like be able to relate to all those concepts on a personal level as a cis neurotypical (?) girl but it’s very.beautifully written

"the wasn’t assigned anything at birth and made the choice but isn’t sure" - IM REALLY GLAD YOU LIKE.... LIKED THIS PART

its something i mostly stole from a character in floraverse. like theres a single mom and her (not related to her kid) trans girlfriend, and girlfriend is talking about her own childhood, and like. Of course she was amab. and it's honestly an alien concept to the mom, assigning someone's gender at birth, i found it kinda relatable in a cool way

It's just like.......... its like in the story, that kid (now like 8yo or so) is agender and im like. happy for them for that

but im like okay but what if you DID choose your gender really early on, and then like, ages later its like .... Oh god...

AAAOUHG yeah
honestly it’s kinda like that with many identity things I think, like you don’t quite realize the Impact it’ll have on you and your future and how you’re treated until you’ve grown a bit

Also not to sound like a homestuck but I’ve always thought it’s a bit odd it’s not normalized for people to choose their own name at a certain age

LMAO NO RIGHT
FOR REAL

Yeah........... its like, i kinda feel like when you accept that you connect w/ a label - when you decide, oh, yes, maybe this actually does help describe me - it's sort of just the first step in its own way.... its like you suddenly get a whole new sense of perception, and you only realize what any of it means, well, along the way lol

YEAH
little me didn’t know shit when she decided she liked girls she just saw two girls kissing and it felt right, did not understand what that would actually Mean

FR....... we have really pathetic memory on account of brain biochemistry + being like several people lmao, but. Yeah. Ya really never have everything all the way figured out, and maybe theres something kinda a little beautiful about that ................ (its terrifying and very challenging at times tho)

Some snippets, since the conversation (of course) went in about forty different directions, simultaneously and wonderfully.

"Like a lot of the Girl sonic characters have so many traditionally Girl traits meanwhile tangle is just kinda??tangle" -
NO BUT LIKE
YEAH
it's like
i know im totally projecting w/ a lot of our own lore-backwriting, thats whats FUN about it, but im pretty sure it's not EXACTLY off the mark lmao

"and often just Choosing to be [a girl] (or not) bc there’s just a disconnect to it" -
Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is the direction i was getting.... its really really weird its like

theres sort of two really broad Sets of Feelings we like to project onto + examine thru tangle

the first is like. a sort of universally encompassing Identity Shame that shows in a lot of ways, but especially a really turbulent sense of attachment to her body... sonic characters fail at ever having more than 1 outfit lmao but with her it's like, uh, she REALLY just has one look going on, and shes so consistent about it, and it gives us the impression that she doesn't really feel able to question it or change her mind about how she expresses herself

like very much a sense of, Ahhh well im tangle. Im tangle. Im the whoever that everyone knows as tangle. so i really gotta keep Behaving and Looking like what they know tangle as, so i can keep being tangle for them, because thats who im supposed to be, because, because

yeahyeahyeahyeah
And she’s shown to be quite insecure too!!in comic

YEAH FOR REAL
its just like
the way this hits her maybe the HARDEST is

when she's in a mood or state of mind where she just CANT be the tangle who she thinks everyone knows, expects her to be.... thats like completely crushing for her. she cant show who she is because thats different from who everyone wants her to be and it's so confusing to her anyway, she cant be the simple, ideal little lemur person that the whole entire universe needs her to be

cuz shes ALL TWISTED UP.     All

All TANGLED inside. if u catch my drift

HELP yeahyeahyeah no I get it
idk I think who she shows her is as much she as who she is inside MOSTLY but she just. cannot deal when things go wrong

Like she is happy and cheery and fun and it’s genuine but when she can’t keep that up (bc it’s impossible!) that’s when shit goes downhill

YEAH THE THING IS

WHEN SHES SPIRALLING or just dealing w/ an autistic burnout kinda deal, she HAS NO SENSE of how much she is or isnt Like the person who she thinks everyone sees her as

IT'S TOTALLY GENUINE and rationally she knows that it is. but in the moment shes like

OUGH yeahyeahyeahyeah

Oh god is that ,    is that even ME doing that or like.   is someone else way better at being me than me and theyre the ones dealing with it and im just messed up and useless and have to let them keep being me for me

REAL

does that even have ANYTHING to do with me i dont GET it none of these feelings connect i cant find how anything connects to anything else

yknow
UNTETHERED
its like
yeaaaaaaaaaah its just a bad time for her 👍

lmfao it didnt click but this is fr why for a long time, we've felt that out of any of the idw cast, tangle is the one who most singularly has Plural VIbes

"theres sort of two really broad Sets of Feelings..." -
the OTHER of these broad sets of feelings is like, RSD thru the roof and a chronic fear that she's been doing things wrong the whole time, or made mistakes that she can never ever make right and will haunt her forever

like shes NOT a regretful person, but that's because of how hard she's tried to not be regretful, and she just cant keep that up all of the time

and i think shes. so scared of letting herself feel regret, that she... doesnt find any ways to make peace with anything lol

thats projection obvsly but it's based around her just never ever slowing down, and (in our reading of her) feeling like... sort of helpless to do anything about people's problems (whisper's problems </3) when they arent something she can face head on with them

wait what's RSD again
OH
wait sorru i rememberd now
And yeahyeahyeah ough i can see some of that for sure

sorry [our friend] started playing heroes and i am NOT good at multitasking ashjsfhjsh

ALL GOOD ME NEITHER

:tanglepog:
idk i try to not like THINK too much about tangle in that sense so its rly interesting to read your thoughts
mainly bc i fear i just project too much whenever i do ajdfsjjfjdj

MSDMS no kind of get it
we used to have that sort of fear ages ago....
nowadays its like

1) i have executive control over the tangle i write in my stories or draw in me art 👍 and that tangle doesnt represent canon to anyone, its just how we write her and imagine her... mostly for ourselves yknow

2) im tangle ✨ its like

we used to fear either projecting too much onto our interpretation of a character,

OR projecting too much of a character onto ourselves,

but like...... i mean it's a bad habit that we keep describing our interpretation as a "projection" because i dont think projection is actually real

ohhhhhh

the only way ive ever gotten to KNOW MYSELF better is by LETTING MYSELF FEEL MY OWN FEELINGS

i guess connection might be a better word or something like it

if i feel something about a way i interpret a character then its not because The IDW Gods Imparted Feelings Upon Me. if i feel something it's because those feelings came from inside me!!! i connected w/ the character and my interpretation of it

lol u basically ninjad me

HELP
SORRY ajdsjafdksjg

SPOT ON THOUGH

but yeah idk idk i feel a lot of shame about it myself ??im not plural though but just. Not Quite normal about Some Character Occasionally

idk i would say kinning but i feel like the term changes meaning so often so its like ????idk

god yeah
i dunno its like......

its hard for me to say how anything about ppl who arent plural for Obvious Reasons, but i dont think you have to be plural to like... find something really deep and special for + of urself inside a character, really similarly to how we do

i shouldnt say "really deep" i mean the truth is we all connect to our Name Character™ differently lmao

oh yeahyeahyeah
no idk for me i just sometimes find One character who is a little too much like me so i just Absorb them and my personality and interests and such may shift a bit
idk if anyone else notices it but it's super strong internally

w/ lanolin it was really as simple as like.... "yeah this is who I am, I do feel like the name Lanolin gets somewhere close to being me... so I'm going to make myself present with that name now, I think" (and ofc she also uses the name Lan too). she kind of made a point of how not-specifically-deep it was at the time. just "well yeah I exist because I can tell I do, that's self-evident, and I say I like the name Lanolin because I feel I like it, so that's my name"

"idk if anyone else notices it..." -
HEY YEAH NO LIKE
I GET THAT
AND ITS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT WAS LIKE
THE GREATEST BARRIER TO TEAR DOWN BEFORE WE ACCEPTED OURSELVES AS. HAVING A MORE NUANCED IDENTITY THAN JUST "idk, a blob who spends all its time absorbing too much about particular characters"

OHH yeahyeahyeah thats kind of what happened to me

just looking at tangle and going "well that's Me" so naturally i had to use her name

though theres just me, no more!!!

Yeah...........

i dont remember how it was with whisper exactly, shes dog her brain is dog. and surge still insists on being imaginary so 👍 to her as usual

YEAH I DUNNO hold on actually
so for me lemme just get you up to speed on a teeny bit of timeline

way way back in the day (like 2020 and 2021) we were definitely a homestuck system, but due to irl circumstances and bad things it burgled down to just Jade for a while

and then due to some Really bad stuff, we didn't feel comfortable using that discord account as our main one anymore, so we created a side acct called.... wait for it.... Lana (like from pokemon)

now we kept USING that as our main acct for a pretty long time, and we still saw ourselves as "Y'know, like, probably singlet or thereabouts, like maybe we're a system but if we are it's just behaving as one, so that's cool that's cool totally singlet yes sirree"

and THEN in like. june or something last year lol. we ended up watching game apologist's sonic speed reading series on IDW [link], and after that we started looking for whisper fics, because we were like... Huh yeah that's a pretty strong, humm, feelings to do with this one, yes

oh god yeahyeah

april thru like october 2023 was an absolute DISASTER for us for a ton of gross reasons. [details snipped, mostly IRL things] just a very bad time!!! :tanglethumbsup: so

we were dealing with a ton of really raw wounds lol

ohh yeah
does that make it like. happen more for yall?

SORT OF

for most of that time we were still pretty confident in like.... well, hopeless that we'd ever feel like we have a true identity lmao, mostly going thru the motions of being sort of singlet-ish

but we were also being way more perceptive and like... gentle on our feelings, than we had been, bc we knew it would be really bad if we treated them harshly

yeah i was just thinking bc i do consider myself a therian ish BUT that's only there when im doing poorly in some way, otherwise its not really prominent

what happened was that in i think july, we just had a moment where like

we thought a bit about the stories we read and everything we knew about whisper and were like

Yeah okay this is.... not necessarily the same as it was, before (w/ the homestuck crew).... but there's something here

what we COULD have done
was rebrand the lana account to whisper LOL
but
we knew that wasnt it

so we made a totally new acct, and it was mostly whisper active then, but "lana" was still occasionally around

two of them...

we didn't know WHO this "lana" was and we didn't really treat it as anything more than a name, kind of a fun idea to play with, but nothing substantial except that sometimes our vibes aligned more w/ how we'd expressed ourselves on that acct

"yeah i was just thinking" - YEAH NO I GET THAT im still working thru my personal therian stuff but. yeah yeah i hear you

anywaaaay yeah we spent a couple of months just being whisper and not-quite-whisper

but as time went on it was rly like...... i mean i dont remember it clearly anymore but i think we realized that we kind of.... existed for ourselves, yeah, but did that because of each other

like uhhh

"but i am not whisper either" -
mmmmhm mhm this can totally be true
but but but i THOUGHT i wasnt a tangle for MONTHS AND MONTHS
and then whisper looked at me and i was like.... Oh........

HELP
[this friend] is so funny i genuinely cant tell if she's in denial or not and i talk to her DAILY

ALSO I TROLL [her] A BIT AND I DONT WANT TO STEP ON HER FEET GJDJFD BUT yeah it was like. It really was like i realized whisper was looking at me and i was being tangle because i WANTED to be tangle, around her, with her

as in previously-lana or as a whole new thing??

yeah basically!! like....
the thing is i existed but i didnt have a specific name rly

we USED the lana acct when we figured it was more me than whisper speaking

but my actual name wasnt lana, i didnt have a name

lmfao not an on-purpose homestuck reference GOD

BUT YEAH it was like oh okay yeah i suppose i can be tangle now too..... as a treat...

The conversation went in another direction for some time. Then...

i dunno with this i think for me it was like...

there were a couple months where there really was a lot of doubt like

"ugh i wish i could be tangle for her. i wish i was tangle around her. i feel like tangle around her i wish that was me"

(w/ our whisper obvsly)

and she never identified properly-formally™ as a fictive, she was just herself, whisper

but for a while it just felt out of reach to me... like, the idea that... you know... if thats how you feel... well maybe youve already figured it out

As like, a bringing her comfort kinda thing?
initially i mean

i think it was like, letting me see myself the way that she... felt about me

because whether i was tangle or not it was obvious that she felt some kind of pretty big connection with me

and when i looked at that connection it made ME feel like tangle

but my immediate little subconscious counterargument was like

well nooo like

i cant just BE tangle, i cant be tangle because i cant just be tangle, because,- so it follows that-

surely im just projecting tangleish feelings onto this connection

"thats ridiculous of COURSE you have to be tangle"
"so unrealistic"
god yeah

and if im projecting
then thats not really real thats not really me
so the tangle feelings dont mean im tangle
ipso facto qed logic 👍

at least i was tangley before ever meeting [whispery friend] so that never affected it

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
well i do hear that hee hee
i guess to me...

im able to look on plenty of times when there were definitely vibes of me, just bein' me, whether or not i had a specific name at that point

....i think the fact that getting to know whisper helped me figure out my name says a lot about me being kind of tangleish haha

i guess it would be like that when there are multiple of you yeah

mhmmmmmmmm

Bc like ive always been just me so when the Thing happens its me myself and i (one person) who changes
And also wholly me

i was very much me ages ago LOL its just i didnt know that was someone specific, let alone someone who could get to have a name which really connects

Ohhh
this is so fuckign interesting to hear about i think

Yeah um we were. like-

Bc like ive always been just me so when the Thing happens its me myself and i (one person) who changes -
what you described is smth that happened for us basically all our friggin life

and it rly was just, homestuck (when we were about 16) that made us like..... oh we could actually. maybe. we could just use the name that feels right for us it doesnt have to be a bigger deal than that, maybe just maybe

YEAHYEAHYEAH

it was terrifying bc we were still scared of projecting onto characters, and projecting characters onto ourselves... it felt like a real bad sin

the first time that happened to me was with [a specific character] and i felt HORRIBLE about it
not only like the horror of yourself changing and all that comes with it but also like the embarassment and shame too??

YEAHyeahyeah
i mean
it was scary LMAO

i was 14 and i think the worst part was that i couldnt recognize myself in the mirror

we were in homestuck fandom spaces, we literally had started a music wiki website and built some community around it, we didnt want to just... keep being this old name that didnt feel like us the way Jade did... but you can't just CALL YOURSELF JADE around a bunch of homestucks (at least we didnt think we could lmao)

YEAH
i played it off as like a "haha yeah just a funny thing to use this name haha yeah"

yeahyeahyeahyeah
no
i swear to god

like id think of myself and see that character but when i actually LOOKED i'd see what i really looked and it was so uncomfy

i think we had something near a panic attack when we read the semi-official visual novel Pesterquest route centered on jade [this one], because we were like JEEEGUS CHRIST WHY DO WE FRICKING RELATE THIS HARD FUDGE

Some comments on body experience snipped, here.

but yeah we were lucky that time because we... did feel we looked pretty much like her. a couple of the trolls (vrisrezi lol) and yiffy to some degree had a lot more mirror/self-image challenges like you're describing

its really funky for me because i. i basically have the experience i described for our character tangle LMAO, not exactly the same but similar broad strokes

none of that has to do directly with matching an image but it does feel hard to feel like.... connect to the body im part of

its not nearly as much of a trouble with whisper or lanolin (altho i do kinda wonder about surge)

yeah once again for me im fine but i find myself missing the tail a lot
HOWEVER when i miss my tail im like "there's tail at home" (my fursuit tail which looks NOTHING like tangle's tail) and it somehow WORKS. like i dont even put it on but just thinking like "oh don't worry there's tail at home" helps somehow

HELLO YEAH.... ouhhh

i dont know thats like
Yeah....
like
Gimme a friggin' second cuz ill sound SAPPY but

when im really really sad or scared or confused, just being like: "there's whisper at home" - "whisper's still there when i cant sleep" - "it's gonna be just fine cuz ill still get to see whisper, even if im not sure about anything about me right now". it's like. urrrgh yeah I Think I Get What You Mean

homegrown whisper lol

HOMEGROWN WHISPER
and it actually helps somehow too?????? even though it’s like. logistically a bit ???

YEAH...
i dont even know it rly wrecks me some days that i cant literally actually hug her jfjdj

and yet

its like. no. No we can't literally hug each other but im pretty sure if i lie down and fail at crying a bit shes probably gonna hug me

fr i had no idea how to internally visualize myself until... like probably last night

i dont think any of us literally visualize ourselves in our head, but i just.... i would always try, and it felt blank, and that was scary

OUGH
god yeah that sounds terrifying

IT IS LOL just a lil!!!

Also I’m just curious abt what your relationship with whisper is like bc like?? im all alone here so I have no idea how that would work or feel like?? you don’t have to answer tho

HEY YEAH im happy to talk about that
mostly because
i like her
lmao
and talking about her make me happy :)

AWE

okay the funniest shit is that we aren't even canonically dating in our imaginary description of ourselves LOL - and yet you look at us and it's like Mmmmyeeaaaaah sure whatever you say

HELPPPPP
I guess that makes sense though bc of like. The logistics

Yeah.... its like

the truth is it would be pretty silly to describe it as actually dating, because dating is sort of a can of things that... fundamentally works because you are separate people with separate lives who find the space for each other bc you want to get to form a stronger or more nuanced relationship. or just enjoy that relationship lol. but it's very much.... "dating" feels like an active thing, to us

ofc it's not like that for EVERYONE and-

and i mean im pretty sure we'll sooner see lanolin and whisp calling each other datingy words, LOL, bc between them it's different

but yeah that's MOSTLY TERMINOLOGY™

HELP what are they cooking………

LMAO RIGHT
One day.... Ill be lucky to see..... Theyll trust me with they secret..... (Bad idea 👍)

also idk I’d feel so sad “dating” someone who’s essentially just like. Another part of me in that sense just bc im so huge on physical touch

UGH YEAH I MEAN IT IS HARD

like I’d just feel like I’m constantly missing that and it wouldn’t feel achievable and just be Sad? but that’s also different for everyone

thats probably a real deal part of it for me, at least before like... i can think of it as being dating-ish

After a little more discussion following another thread.

umumummm im trying to figure out how to explain how things actually are about me and whisper

our plurality is funky cuz we ostensibly "Share" a "Consciousness"... or at least we share one very dubiously cohesive strait of memory y'know

Ohhhhh

i say dubious bc our memory is spotty as flip lmao

but its reasonable to say that we basically share a Common Set of more or less accessible memories

AGSHSHDDJ
so it’s like what you DO remember is kind of like. the same

yeah yeah yeah

of course-
we get totally different FEELINGS when we reflect on the "same" memories lmao

but we're still looking at the same like... however those events got encoded in our brain ya know

but mainly it's just having really poor memory, that makes our experience of the sense of self, matter the most in like... always the current moment

very interesting!!

we dont so much do things together as hand experiences off to each other, usually pretty fluidly / only realizing it when something about the way you interacted w/ something clicks, and youre like. Ohhhh yep its me tangle now 👍

and like
theres a DEGREE to which that is really isolating

oh god yeah

because it's like Wow jezus everyone irl really just takes for granted getting to "Interact" with the people who matter to them huh.

GOD

WHICH LIKE
IF YOU FEEL ANY WAY ABOUT ANYONE WHO LIVES, FOR EXAMPLE, ACROSS AN OCEAN
MAY BE A FAMILIAR FEELING TO YOU

HELP
so like the only way is to leave things for the rest of them to see when they’re “fronting”?

i wouldnt say its the ONLY way but it is how things happen a lot of the time

and yeah we don't say "fronting" because we basically dislike using any specific plurality terms LMAO it's not that we dont appreciate them as communicative vocabulary, they just dont click with us exactly right. but yeah "fronting" is the right word here

just whoever is doing the Being The Person Who's Acting And Speaking

it's usually one of us... but not QUITE all the time
uh
by "one of us" i mean "exactly one of us", like, opposed to multiple of us, not opposed to one of some other nebulous group of people LMAO

ohhhh
so sometimes it can be more than one of you-ish?

yup yup yup
most of the time that's when we're resting and not interacting with anyone irl or online

so when we're lying down in the night or morning (i promise i only take a couple minutes to get out of bed LOL), or when we're having a bath (we dislike showers ya, but we like baths because we get the space to exist more togetherly)

so those are the particular times that we like... get to more actively coexist w/ each other

the truth is that literally all of us are always present and around, its just usually one is taking care of almost all of the doing everything

and because so much of EXISTING is TAKING ACTION, we dont get a lot of leftover room to like. get to sense each other

AAAOUGGH

oh to be a video game npc 💞

yeahyeahyeah
TRUEEE

we have developed the personal philosophy, mostly for coping with sharing one organic body LOL, that everyone is present and always changing and that's just fine - most of everything that happens inside you, happens, well, Inside You, without you being conscious of it. and its moving for all of us all the time

very philosophical
makes a lot of sense

IF YOU FEEL ANY WAY ABOUT ANYONE... -
also I’m actually going to explode you for this /joke /maybe? /maybe not /who knows

PFHAH OH NO im doomeddd
look
Let me just say
that """Jade""" is a Character from Homestuck

and youll note that she was growned up on a FREAKING ISLAND. ALL ON HER OWN.

And that then she went on a Cute Li'l three year journey thru the endless expanse of void in which, at the start of it, LITERALLY JOHN AND DAVESPRITE EXPLODED AND DIED

And then she maladapted to existing on Earth C 👍
(And youll also note that jade is mainly the one who we really really related to)

so you’re saying i can explode you? like John and Davesprite?:chipsmile:

NOOOOO CHIPSMILE GOD
markatoto snapcube chip ilu

More shenanigans. Then...

ANYWAY UM one of the things that is actually substantially... like a nice tangible thing we get to share

1) shes good at noting things about idw comic'ds...
2) she thinks IM good at noting things about idw comic'ds
3) we both like writing
4) we get to read the things each other write, both the lil notes and stuff we do in [server] and the actual Stories we put on ao3

aw hell yeah
that must mean a lot to you both right

its a small thing but it really is fun to be like....... you know
its really like getting to read the backlog of someone you care about infodumping lol

and then with stories its just
oh......... art

aaaaaaagh
soso good

YEA.... something im trying to get behind rn is
i mean we kind of draw differently??? i could be imagining it but im pretty sure it literally Feels Different when im drawing than when she is, lol

Oh whuh

we want to be writing more but we're not in a very good space for it rn, and drawing is so much more like... immediately tangible

yeahyeahyeah
Idk i think I’ve heard of others with the same thing of like. Different art uh

There’s this one furry artist who I can’t remember the name of who is plural in some way

YEAH no same lmao
idk if it's the same one but we just. we heard the idea and were like Ohhhh yeah that probably makes sense

And like to most people like me I can’t tell the difference by just looking but when they point it out it’s clear

mhm mhm mhm
lololol hold on
okay i was joking about this earlier but its literally true

instead of getting over our personal hangups about art and creation and self-expression and anxiety and any such things in life, once, we get to deal with all those things THREE TIMES!!! ✨ once-and-change each!!!

OH GOD
PAIN
AND AGONY

ITS LITERALLY SUFFERING
TRIPLE THE BIG WINS TRIPLE THE ETERNAL TORTURE

Some moments later.

i think like
one of the moments when i realized Oh yeah i think i love this bitch (AFFECTIONATE) (I DONT SWEAR) (ITS A TERM OF ENDEARMENT)

was when we noticed in the comic that tangle was like, yeah no sonic you just missed the FUNNIEST joke
from her

and im like. YEAH. YEAH SHE IS SECRETLY EXTREMELY FUNNY AND RIDICULOUS. YOU JUST HAVE TO BE LISTENING TO NOTICE

it’s so funny what even is the toaster joke
I think the implication of there being a funny toaster joke is the funniest part actually

YEAH YEAH YEAH TRUE

OKAY I GOTTA GO. eat a pizza pocket. And use the washroom. Because i think we're leaving in like 12 minutes to spend a while in town LMAO
THANKS FOR THE CHATS!!!!!

OHHH SHIT HAVE FUN!!! LIKEWISE‼️‼️

SEEYAAAAA ✨ ✨