Yo!! Aloha, howdy! What's up? Nat reminded me that the present date is 4/20/19,
which - of course they did. The thing that's so funny about this is that it's
a half-century before a particularly notable date: 4/20/69! Nice. Nat had this
idea to send a message to themselves, to be read 50 years in the future. I've
never done anything like that before, but I mean... c'mon... this date is just
TOO perfect. So, this is here! My intent is to stick it online and archive it
publicly, so it'll still be around that long from now. Gosh, can you imagine?
Fifty years from now! It seems like forever! I have no idea what it'll be like
then, for me or anyone, honestly. I mean, not that anyone does, but wow! Who
knows! I'm fifteen presently - my birthday's in May - so by then I'll be 65.
That's, like... OLD. It's fitting to talk about age in a letter to the future,
right? Anyway - for as long as that is, I'll still be meeeee!! This is silly,
but I wonder if I'll still write the same way then. I mean I guess it'll be
pretty different, since that's a LOT of time... but I know the voice I try to
convey through text today is pretty similar to the one I did two, four, five
years ago! But maybe more energetic. Y'know, there's no reason to only *lean*
in that direction of discussion... may as well go full in, right?! I feel like
I'm happier today than I was back... well, ever. That's optimism, yeah? There
are a lot of things that are honestly still super crazy and uncertain in my
life, to be absolutely totally certain (seriously, there's SO MUCH), but I'm
hopeful that those things will all work out in time. (Hmm, there's another
topic I might broach later there..!) And I think I'm a bit more confident in
myself than before. Seriously, I actually CAN point to a bunch of things that
I'm proud of... I've been working on a game in Scratch, for example! It's the
Hollow Knight one, with the level editor and the fancy parallax effects and the
platforming physics. I've learned a lot while making that! I mean, I'm really
not far into it at all, but I've puzzled over a bunch of challenges in writing
all the code for it, and passing them is so satisfying. There are a lot of
things that I still might end up considering, like figuring out how to have
other characters walking around the world - y'know, foes and what-not. I think
I'll have to implement the platforming engine in a totally different way then -
because I'll need to be able to simulate the platforming of characters who
aren't on the screen! The normal collision detection blocks probably won't work
for them, so I imagine I'll need to write tons of code to have a vector-based
collision map, which you'd create through the in-game editor. And enemy AI too!
I haven't thought about that at allll!! But it's funny.. as I write about this
now, I feel like I'm figuring out all those things in my head, just little bits
and pieces of how to implement them. And that's a really awesome feeling --
it's like, whoa, I'm actually good at solving problems like this! In present-
spect, writing so much about a little game might seem kind of inconvenient of
me, but I think it'll still be nice to have a look into my thinking. Oh, that
sort of wrings me around to another thread of mind.. I mentioned this would be
public, right? I think I'll end up rereading this myself a good few times
before 4/20/69 (nice) rolls around, or at least I'll remember writing it. And I
think that's something that'll be good for me. Occasionally, I find myself in a
drained headstate where I just don't feel like I'm all that good at much of
anything. But that's not true, of course; I'm hoping writing this will help
remind me every once in a while. Blrblrbl!! Phew! Ach! Ya know, it's funny, but
writing those last few sentences took me a lot longer than like, all the other
stuff here yet. It's not really surprising that writing out emotions is kinda
difficult, but - I want to get better at it! I really, really want to write a
story that is emotional - a story for a game, that is. I want to write a story
with characters who're kind and good-willing, and characters who're exhausted,
and characters who aren't, and who want to help, and ones who've got to be
helped, and ones who are ridiculously happy and on and on... and I really,
really want to write characters who have a whole ton of overlap across, like,
all of those and so much more. I have no idea how to do anything like that yet!
But, I want to get better at it, and I want to do it eventually! Will it happen
by 50 years from now? Liiike I have no idea ~lol~, but that's not really the
point, eh?

..Oh..

It's 23:47 now. It's been several hours. Funnily enough it was Nat who
accidentally reminded me of this. I've yet to put it online. I'd like to write
more and perhaps I will; we'll see when it reaches midnight. But for now, here
are some things I would like to really remember 50 years from now, which are in
some sense unlikely if unwritten of.

I love my teddy bears. They're friends to me. They're amazing and fantastic and
comfort when I need it and companions and just, lovely. Here are their names,
in arbitrary order: Leopard; Blue Bear; Lion; Bear; DDDDDD and EEEEEE; Moose;
Unicorn; White Dog; my cat who is unnamed, and a wolf informally titled Grey
Wolf or perhaps Silver Wolf; and Rebel, who is a meercat. (DDDDDD and EEEEEE
are wolf-dogs who are named as such for the approximate colors of their collars
or fur. They're twins.) I also bring mention to the teddies who are in my
closet; I don't know their names but they are two white pandas with black ears,
an elephant who literally speaks to you, a beige teddy bear that really reminds
me of the meaning of teddies, and a moose who is older and wiser than the one
who is with my other teddy friends, who all rest beside me in bed. I also want
to mention the many teddies who were lost or taken from me by no seeming will
of their own. I can remember only a few names, such as Mini Kitten and Big Mama
Bear and Caramel and Chocolate (who were twin bears, named for their fur).
There are so many more who elude my memory, but they're a part of me all the
same, and I want to give them mention as to everyone else. (I also mention my
sister's teddy, Squishy Neck Bear, as well as my sister's imaginary grandma and
lamb. They're all friends to both of us, even if the latter two are now more
memories than presences.)

There's no dramatic message here as it's presently...still 23:59. :) But thank
you for reading this. (00:00.) Whenever or whoever you are, that is; thank you.