path: root/album/the-funk-mclovin-homestuck-experience.yaml

Album: The Funk McLovin Homestuck Experience
Artist: Funk McLovin
Date: April 13, 2020
Date Added: April 12, 2021
Has Track Art: false
Color: '#a5f0a7'
Groups:
- Funk McLovin
- Fandom
URLs:
- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/album/the-funk-mclovin-homestuck-experience
Cover Artists:
- Funk McLovin
---
Track: Introduction
Duration: 0:50
URLs:
- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/introduction
Lyrics: |-
    Hello everybody!
    My name is Funk McLovin. You might know me as Jojo. I wanna wish everyone a happy 4/13. As you know, this day signifies a very special person's birthday. So, before I start the album, I'd like to sing them a happy birthday right now.

    Happy birthday to you
    Happy birthday to you
    Happy birthday dear June
    Happy birthday to you

    If you said "cha cha cha" or ended the song with "and many more," I assign you Dave Kin.

    Now please, enjoy: Funk McLovin's Homestuck music album.
---
Track: The Strider Rap-Off
Duration: '3:16'
URLs:
- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/the-strider-rap-off
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkDY73uNxtE
Lyrics: |-
    DIRK: Hey, dude.
    DAVE: hey dirk
    DIRK: I need a second on the rap battle today. You up?
    DAVE: i dont know dude last time things got a little hairy
    DIRK: What? Last time was awesome. That shit went viral.
    DAVE: things can go viral for the wrong reasons dawg
    DAVE: plus no one could tell our voices apart
    DIRK: Fuck that, dude. Rap me so hard.
    DAVE: fine but i get to go first and i get to pick the track
    DIRK: Cool. But Squarewave is MC'ing.
    DAVE: fuck
    DAVE: fine

    DAVE: you can tell by the way i use my walk
    ive had some help from—
    TEREZI: OH SH1T.

    DAVE: a seer with chalk
    ive got rhymes rattling around my dome for days
    boys named dirk better be out of my way
    when do you have time to spit
    when you watch your anime shows
    no shit
    just like your shows
    youre undeniably bad
    im ashamed to call you my mutual dad
    son you better get the shovel
    cuz for your corpse theyll be diggin the tunnel
    you can swing a sword just like its an art
    but my half sized sword cuts down the prince aparts

    SQUAREWAVE: NICE RHYME, BRO. YOU'RE ON TOP OF YOUR GAME. BUT IT'S DIRK'S TURN TO RAP. NOW HE'S RISING TO FAME.

    DIRK: You've demonstrated your precision.
    Forming your rhyme-based incision.
    Into my psyche like the finest of surgeons.
    But you fail to account for in your incursion, that your shitty half scalpel can't penetrate.
    What we have here is a failure to calculate.
    So, despite your rhyming and the best of luck, you forgot you can't win if you suck.
    And just for the record, I was just being nice. Your rhymes aren't actually that precise.

    SQUAREWAVE: NEATO DORITOS, MY DUDE'S SUPREME. DAVE RAPPING NEXT IS MY GREATEST DREAM.

    DAVE: can we turn him off
    please

    DIRK: No.

    DAVE: this track would be ideal if instead of a battle
    it was just me so my rhymes that could rattle
    everybody knows my flow can be tops
    all the folks watching at home are just waiting for you to stop
    In fact why not just concede victory to me
    before i splatter your guts for all to—
    SQUAREWAVE: READ

    DAVE: uh

    DAVE: whats he doing

    SQUAREWAVE: TREE. ME. SEE. PERIGEE.
    DIRK: He's fucking helping you, dude.

    DIRK: You might be hot shit inside of your brain,
    But suffice to say that soon you'll be slain
    And cut down to spec by katanas so shitty.
    You're like a little baby sucking my rap titty.
    I spin words together like a mellifluous bard.
    Remind me how many rap shows have you starred.
    Also, lay off Squarewave, lest you incur his wrath.
    Also, dude.
    Take a fucking bath.

    SQUAREWAVE: ALRIGHT, DUDES. WE ARE REACHING THE END. THIS IS SO COOL. I CAN BARELY COMPREHEND.

    DAVE: i shouldve known
    i shouldve been knew
    yet another rap battle you snookered me into
    every time we bust rhymes i suffer
    well this is it ive had enougher
    im putting an end to your assault rap mantle
    im about to do a somersault off the handle
    this is it dirk prepare for armageddon night—

    SQUAREWAVE: ARMAGEDDON WAS RELEASED IN 1998. STARRING BRUCE WILLIS, IT'S A MOVIE THAT'S GREAT.
    DAVE: AAH

    DIRK: Holy shit, dude. Keep the lid on your dick.
    Let me put a stop to this rap battle, real quick.
    I think we can crown the king prematurely.
    You've been acting all hell's of monstrous and surly.
    Squarewave tell us who's the best on the beat.
    Be the MC to Dave's defeat.

    SQUAREWAVE: WELL, DIRK, OLD BUDDY, I'M CALCULATING THE WINNER. WE SHOULD ALL BE HOME IN TIME FOR DINNER.
    BUT FIRST LET ME SAY WHAT A TERRIFIC RAP FIGHT. YOU BOYS REALLY ARE ALL RIGHT.
    I'VE KEPT YOU WAITING. AFTER DILIGENT WORK. I'VE DECIDED THE WINNER. THE WINNER IS DIRK.

    DAVE: yeah you know what dirk
    DAVE: im gonna let you have this one

    DIRK: Fucking sick.

    (<i>Credits to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPFTOXaTJ665xSDVxoV6wgQ">Vinyl</a> for <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkDY73uNxtE&lc=Ugxw9X0PulMJTLiITwV4AaABAg">transcription</a>.</i>)
Date First Released: April 9, 2020
---
Track: Jade Defender
Duration: '2:21'
URLs:
- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/jade-defender
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0jzBu7IZWU
Date First Released: February 21, 2020
---
Track: GameGoth
Duration: '1:42'
URLs:
- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/gamegoth
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLHdyAM4ujs
Lyrics: |-
    (Welcome, mortals, to the best - and last! - game of your life. Mwahahahahahahaaaa!)

    I'm the GameGoth, and I don't mess around
    I'll beat all your scores and take you to town
    Out in the creepy manor right behind the arcade
    I'll show you around, don't be afraid

    Dark Souls, Metroid, Amnesia too
    I've got spooky titles coming out my wazoo
    I'll make you a deal: just try to survive
    If you beat me in a game I'll let you outta here alive

    You're in the GameGoth's clutches
    And I hope you got the skills
    'Cause he's the gaming master
    With the highest deaths to kills

    Since you are the guest I'll let you pick the game
    Animal Crossing? Ha! No that one's lame
    I've got Castlevania: Lords of Shadow
    Resident Evil and... Battletoads?

    [Epic synth solo]

    You're in the GameGoth's clutches
    And I hope you got the skills
    'Cause he's the gaming master
    With the highest deaths to kills

    Well you lost fair and square so try not to scream
    While your blood is let out by the glow of the screen
    I'd say "better luck next time" but that won't be the case
    Another victim claimed to the darkest gaming ace
    Hahahaha!
Referenced Tracks:
- GameBro (Original 1990 Mix)
Date First Released: January 28, 2020
---
Track: Less Pale, More Pail
Duration: '2:03'
URLs:
- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/less-pale-more-pail
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYQj9F5fLMI
Lyrics: |-
    Don't wanna be your best frieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeend
    Don't wanna be your moiraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaail
    I wanna climb inside all of your sopor slime
    Let's see less pale and more paiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil

    You have been a pal to me
    For as long as I can recall
    But that close friendship
    I just don't want it all

    If you're just a bud
    Then I'll take a pass
    It's all or nothing, babe
    'Cause you're one sexy lass

    Don't wanna be your best friend
    Don't wanna be your moirail

    Don't wanna be your best frieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeend
    Don't wanna be your moiraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaail
    I wanna climb inside all of your sopor slime
    Let's see less pale and more paiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil

    (Oh, baby. Please don't make me beg.
    'Cause I will beg. I don't wanna beg but I will.
    I definitely will beg. If you make me.)
Date First Released: February 10, 2020
---
Track: 'Steel Bastille: Heart of Light, Crown of Thorns'
Duration: '2:58'
URLs:
- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/steel-bastille-heart-of-light-crown-of-thorns
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DDPym9XkRk
Date First Released: February 26, 2020
---
Track: Vrissy's Theme
Duration: '2:29'
URLs:
- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/vrissys-theme
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w86Mq0kLnwQ
Date First Released: January 2, 2020
---
Track: Vogue Rogue
Duration: '2:09'
URLs:
- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/vogue-rogue
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttk-q7BonIE
Date First Released: January 6, 2020
---
Track: Ult!Dirk Can't Rap
Duration: 0:59
URLs:
- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/ult-dirk-cant-rap
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btUK0HAPXeQ
Lyrics: |-
    (Awwww yeah. You better synchronize your watches, 'cause it's Dirk time, baby.)

    Dirk Strider making bars
    Unprecedented on Deltritus
    Skull-headed bitches wanna find us
    Space players wanna be us

    Narratively sound and far away from Earth C
    All you gotta do to be better than you is to be me

    I put my daughter in a robot
    Metal daughter
    She brought along a friend
    Metal daughter squatter

    Boyfriend in her wallet
    She making the moves
    Leaving Dirk all alone
    To pack up the grooves

    Baby's first new species
    Better gift yourself a bib
    Lovecraftian abomination
    Claims burbon claim to win

    A competition etched in the blood of my kin
    What will you do? When the pimps in the crib

    I'll make Rose's skills look like stepping on a rake
    This whole shindig will be a piece of cake
    I hope Terezi drowns in a lake
    I wonder how Jane's doing? God I miss Jake

    (--Rose get the fuck out of here!)
Date First Released: April 3, 2020
---
Track: Vriska's Theme (Off The Shits Edition)
Duration: '3:50'
URLs:
- https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/vriskas-theme-off-the-shits-edition
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o34votcZmMA
Referenced Tracks:
- Vriska's Theme