Album: The Funk McLovin Homestuck Experience Artist: Funk McLovin Date: April 13, 2020 Date Added: April 12, 2021 Cover Art: Funk McLovin Has Track Art: false Color: '#a5f0a7' Groups: - Funk McLovin - Fandom URLs: - https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/album/the-funk-mclovin-homestuck-experience --- Track: Introduction Duration: 0:50 URLs: - https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/introduction Lyrics: |- Hello everybody! My name is Funk McLovin. You might know me as Jojo. I wanna wish everyone a happy 4/13. As you know, this day signifies a very special person's birthday. So, before I start the album, I'd like to sing them a happy birthday right now. Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday dear June Happy birthday to you If you said "cha cha cha" or ended the song with "and many more," I assign you Dave Kin. Now please, enjoy: Funk McLovin's Homestuck music album. --- Track: The Strider Rap-Off Duration: '3:16' Original Date: April 9, 2020 URLs: - https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/the-strider-rap-off - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkDY73uNxtE Lyrics: |- DIRK: Hey, dude. DAVE: hey dirk DIRK: I need a second on the rap battle today. You up? DAVE: i dont know dude last time things got a little hairy DIRK: What? Last time was awesome. That shit went viral. DAVE: things can go viral for the wrong reasons dawg DAVE: plus no one could tell our voices apart DIRK: Fuck that, dude. Rap me so hard. DAVE: fine but i get to go first and i get to pick the track DIRK: Cool. But Squarewave is MC'ing. DAVE: fuck DAVE: fine DAVE: you can tell by the way i use my walk ive had some help from— TEREZI: OH SH1T. DAVE: a seer with chalk ive got rhymes rattling around my dome for days boys named dirk better be out of my way when do you have time to spit when you watch your anime shows no shit just like your shows youre undeniably bad im ashamed to call you my mutual dad son you better get the shovel cuz for your corpse theyll be diggin the tunnel you can swing a sword just like its an art but my half sized sword cuts down the prince aparts SQUAREWAVE: NICE RHYME, BRO. YOU'RE ON TOP OF YOUR GAME. BUT IT'S DIRK'S TURN TO RAP. NOW HE'S RISING TO FAME. DIRK: You've demonstrated your precision. Forming your rhyme-based incision. Into my psyche like the finest of surgeons. But you fail to account for in your incursion, that your shitty half scalpel can't penetrate. What we have here is a failure to calculate. So, despite your rhyming and the best of luck, you forgot you can't win if you suck. And just for the record, I was just being nice. Your rhymes aren't actually that precise. SQUAREWAVE: NEATO DORITOS, MY DUDE'S SUPREME. DAVE RAPPING NEXT IS MY GREATEST DREAM. DAVE: can we turn him off please DIRK: No. DAVE: this track would be ideal if instead of a battle it was just me so my rhymes that could rattle everybody knows my flow can be tops all the folks watching at home are just waiting for you to stop In fact why not just concede victory to me before i splatter your guts for all to— SQUAREWAVE: READ DAVE: uh DAVE: whats he doing SQUAREWAVE: TREE. ME. SEE. PERIGEE. DIRK: He's fucking helping you, dude. DIRK: You might be hot shit inside of your brain, But suffice to say that soon you'll be slain And cut down to spec by katanas so shitty. You're like a little baby sucking my rap titty. I spin words together like a mellifluous bard. Remind me how many rap shows have you starred. Also, lay off Squarewave, lest you incur his wrath. Also, dude. Take a fucking bath. SQUAREWAVE: ALRIGHT, DUDES. WE ARE REACHING THE END. THIS IS SO COOL. I CAN BARELY COMPREHEND. DAVE: i shouldve known i shouldve been knew yet another rap battle you snookered me into every time we bust rhymes i suffer well this is it ive had enougher im putting an end to your assault rap mantle im about to do a somersault off the handle this is it dirk prepare for armageddon night— SQUAREWAVE: ARMAGEDDON WAS RELEASED IN 1998. STARRING BRUCE WILLIS, IT'S A MOVIE THAT'S GREAT. DAVE: AAH DIRK: Holy shit, dude. Keep the lid on your dick. Let me put a stop to this rap battle, real quick. I think we can crown the king prematurely. You've been acting all hell's of monstrous and surly. Squarewave tell us who's the best on the beat. Be the MC to Dave's defeat. SQUAREWAVE: WELL, DIRK, OLD BUDDY, I'M CALCULATING THE WINNER. WE SHOULD ALL BE HOME IN TIME FOR DINNER. BUT FIRST LET ME SAY WHAT A TERRIFIC RAP FIGHT. YOU BOYS REALLY ARE ALL RIGHT. I'VE KEPT YOU WAITING. AFTER DILIGENT WORK. I'VE DECIDED THE WINNER. THE WINNER IS DIRK. DAVE: yeah you know what dirk DAVE: im gonna let you have this one DIRK: Fucking sick. (Credits to Vinyl for transcription.) --- Track: Jade Defender Duration: '2:21' Original Date: February 21, 2020 URLs: - https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/jade-defender - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0jzBu7IZWU --- Track: GameGoth Duration: '1:42' Original Date: January 28, 2020 References: - GameBro (Original 1990 Mix) URLs: - https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/gamegoth - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLHdyAM4ujs Lyrics: |- (Welcome, mortals, to the best - and last! - game of your life. Mwahahahahahahaaaa!) I'm the GameGoth, and I don't mess around I'll beat all your scores and take you to town Out in the creepy manor right behind the arcade I'll show you around, don't be afraid Dark Souls, Metroid, Amnesia too I've got spooky titles coming out my wazoo I'll make you a deal: just try to survive If you beat me in a game I'll let you outta here alive You're in the GameGoth's clutches And I hope you got the skills 'Cause he's the gaming master With the highest deaths to kills Since you are the guest I'll let you pick the game Animal Crossing? Ha! No that one's lame I've got Castlevania: Lords of Shadow Resident Evil and... Battletoads? [Epic synth solo] You're in the GameGoth's clutches And I hope you got the skills 'Cause he's the gaming master With the highest deaths to kills Well you lost fair and square so try not to scream While your blood is let out by the glow of the screen I'd say "better luck next time" but that won't be the case Another victim claimed to the darkest gaming ace Hahahaha! --- Track: Less Pale, More Pail Duration: '2:03' Original Date: February 10, 2020 URLs: - https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/less-pale-more-pail - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYQj9F5fLMI Lyrics: |- Don't wanna be your best frieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeend Don't wanna be your moiraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaail I wanna climb inside all of your sopor slime Let's see less pale and more paiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil You have been a pal to me For as long as I can recall But that close friendship I just don't want it all If you're just a bud Then I'll take a pass It's all or nothing, babe 'Cause you're one sexy lass Don't wanna be your best friend Don't wanna be your moirail Don't wanna be your best frieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeend Don't wanna be your moiraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaail I wanna climb inside all of your sopor slime Let's see less pale and more paiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil (Oh, baby. Please don't make me beg. 'Cause I will beg. I don't wanna beg but I will. I definitely will beg. If you make me.) --- Track: 'Steel Bastille: Heart of Light, Crown of Thorns' Duration: '2:58' Original Date: February 26, 2020 URLs: - https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/steel-bastille-heart-of-light-crown-of-thorns - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DDPym9XkRk --- Track: Vrissy's Theme Duration: '2:29' Original Date: January 2, 2020 URLs: - https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/vrissys-theme - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w86Mq0kLnwQ --- Track: Vogue Rogue Duration: '2:09' Original Date: January 6, 2020 URLs: - https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/vogue-rogue - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttk-q7BonIE --- Track: Ult!Dirk Can't Rap Duration: 0:59 Original Date: April 3, 2020 URLs: - https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/ult-dirk-cant-rap - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btUK0HAPXeQ Lyrics: |- (Awwww yeah. You better synchronize your watches, 'cause it's Dirk time, baby.) Dirk Strider making bars Unprecedented on Deltritus Skull-headed bitches wanna find us Space players wanna be us Narratively sound and far away from Earth C All you gotta do to be better than you is to be me I put my daughter in a robot Metal daughter She brought along a friend Metal daughter squatter Boyfriend in her wallet She making the moves Leaving Dirk all alone To pack up the grooves Baby's first new species Better gift yourself a bib Lovecraftian abomination Claims burbon claim to win A competition etched in the blood of my kin What will you do? When the pimps in the crib I'll make Rose's skills look like stepping on a rake This whole shindig will be a piece of cake I hope Terezi drowns in a lake I wonder how Jane's doing? God I miss Jake (--Rose get the fuck out of here!) --- Track: Vriska's Theme (Off The Shits Edition) Duration: '3:50' References: Vriska's Theme URLs: - https://funkmclovin.bandcamp.com/track/vriskas-theme-off-the-shits-edition - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o34votcZmMA