Album: The Ballad of Megan Pouring Date: May 2, 2017 Date Added: September 16, 2023 URLs: - https://coolandnewwebcomic.bandcamp.com/album/the-ballad-of-megan-pouring Artists: - Gordian Cover Artists: - Cloudaria Cover Art File Extension: jpg Track Art File Extension: png Color: '#999999' Groups: - Cool and New Music Team - Fandom Commentary: |- XenoZane: (Youtube upload) MAKIN VOICE REVEAL (MUST WATCH) (NOT CLICKBAIT) ✔️✔️✔️ (EXCLUSIVE) Cool and New Music Team: (Bandcamp description) the dawn of an era. Makin: (Unmasked) Giving commentary about this is pretty egotistical, but I'm adding all CANMT albums to the wiki and there's no skipping this one. I was not involved with this track at all and was as surprised as you are right now when it came out. In fact, I barely know any of these people, but they somehow knew my deepest motivations. This is a rock/soap opera musical track about my reaction to the end of Homestuck, and how visibly "salty" it made me. Memes were created around my reaction, though they were old even at the time this song was made. After Homestuck's Act 7, I found Cool and New Web Comic, which I was able to be unreasonably positive about. I guess that turn made for a good story to tell [[track:throguh-song|THROUGH SONG]]. The rest is just a bunch of fandom nonsense. --- Track: The Ballad of Megan Pouring Artists: - Gordian Contributors: - Kal-la-kal-la (vocals) - Bin (vocals) - nights (vocals) Has Cover Art: false Duration: '06:20' URLs: - https://coolandnewwebcomic.bandcamp.com/track/the-ballad-of-megan-pouring Referenced Tracks: - The Ballad of Megan Pouring (instrumental) - Crime Sheen Inc. Sampled Tracks: - The Ballad of Megan Pouring (instrumental) Lyrics: |- (Are you done with the salt shaker?) (Oh my— you're not actually gonna eat that, are you?) (Megan?) (I'm almost done with it.) Sodium chloride Sodium chloride Megan, you know that stuff's not good for you But I love it! Sodium chloride Slow form of suicide And it would suck if Megan died! I hate my fucking job I sell little pieces of toast They look like fucking boats That's why they're called shiptoasts (Miss Pouring, if we don't break even this month I don't see how we can make it.) (We'll make it.) (But—) (WHAT did I say, Nicole? Now get back to work.) (This is all your fault, Andrea Hussie.) (You bitch.) I wanted to be a princess And when I was a girl they told me that I could "As long as you try your hardest" Guess I should have asked them if I should I founded a sub for Homestuck Wish the fucking end was any good Now all I wanna do is die Someone tell me why-y-y (She hates her fucking job) (Megan, this is your Doctor. The test results came back.) (We tried to warn you about this, you know.) (Anyway. We analyzed the salt content in your blood...) (And we've come to the conclusion that, if you don't cut down your intake...) (There's just no way you can survive.) Someone, someone tell me When I asked for this or What my sin was to deserve this lot in life I know I'm not the best of People but you must believe Me God, if you are out there I can change I feel my self control My salty sinful soul Inside me slip away, I'll end my life today Oh - oh - oh - oh - oh - oh (etc.) MY NAME IS [[artist:o|O]], DID SOMEBODY RING? FOR I AM GOD, THE LORD OF ALL, EVERY H*CKING THING GOD HEARD THY PRAY'R AND HE WILL ANSWER THEE COME HOME, MY CHILD, SING ALONG WITH US AND THEN YOU SHALL BE FREE (Megan, listen. I'm sorry about what Hussie did to you.) (I want to make sure what she did never happens to anyone again.) (She's burning in hell as we speak, being forced to make a video game that will never be completed.) (If you come with me and [[artist:ostrichlittledungeon|ost]] back to heaven, we can all make high quality rips for eternity.) (Megan... will you marry me?) (Yes! I will!) (No way Sheen, no way Sheen, you're not as big a fan of Jimmy's dad as I am!) (No way Sheen, no way Sheen, you're not as big a fan of Jimmy's dad as I am!) Cool and new web comic Cool and new web comic It saved the fandom and Megan too (It's true!) Best fanmade property Better than Hiveswap'll be O, and it's all because of you! The music is shit and yet good too! What can we say, it's Cool and New! --- Track: The Ballad of Megan Pouring (instrumental) Artists: - Gordian Cover Artists: - Cloudaria Duration: '06:23' URLs: - https://coolandnewwebcomic.bandcamp.com/track/the-ballad-of-megan-pouring-instrumental Referenced Tracks: - Doctor - Penumbra Phantasm - Bad Apple!! - Snow halation - track:unintentional-touhou - Feel Good Inc. - Homestuck Anthem - Bridal Chorus - Wanderlust